When in Doubt.... GIVEAWAY

02 March 2017


Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! Luke 1:45

To date that is one of my favorite scriptures. Sometimes I forget all about it when doubt clouds my mind and makes me second guess the goodness and the grace of God. When my husband and I were first trying to conceive I wasn't close to the Lord so this scripture didn't hold much weight in my life. I had no clue of what his promises were to me. All I wanted was for him to give me a baby so I could show all the other people how raising a child was "supposed" to look. My heart wasn't in the right place and it was black and blue from all the hurt that I had endured over the years.

Instead of giving me what I wanted God drew me in with love and christian sisterhood. He took me to a new church and brought me to a group of women that would water me with his word every week for four years before he sent me to live in a new state. He loved on me and helped to pluck out so much of the yucky stuff that I liked to keep hidden. Even with all the good it was still hard for me as I journeyed through the change.

My heart screamed louder and louder at me about wanting a child but I clung to God even more and asked him to take away that desire if it wasn't of him. I later found that it was in His will to give us a family but there was so much that had to be revealed in my heart, my marriage and my life before this child(ren) would come to fruition.

As I matured in my faith I learned that when my mind was filled with doubt there was no better time than to plant my feet deep in the word. No, it didn't fulfill my desires but it filled the space that cried out to me that I needed a child. It filled the space to tell me that with or without babies I was enough. As I begin to see myself in the eyes of the Lord the pain I felt from infertility eased up a bit. It didn't sting so much when I heard those pregnancy announcements because the Holy Spirit helped me to replace the doubts with belief.

I sat on the sidelines month after month watching babies be born or women announce that they were pregnant on each side of me. I held the hands of friends as they were told no over and over again by doctors when they hoped the answer would be yes. The journey was long and arduous. The journey was painful and lonely, but God showed up in a miraculous way just when I felt I couldn't wait any longer.

His word stood strong and saw me through several years of infertility and then it soothed my soul as I held my breath through 38 weeks of pregnancy. The Lord was faithful to me and blessed me even in the moments that I lent myself to doubt. If you trust him and believe I know he will do the same for you no matter what your situation.

There were disciples that were full of doubt while sitting at the feet of Jesus, so you and I are not alone. We have to push pass our doubt and have faith, even if its as small as a mustard seed.

If you'd like to learn more about the disciple that had doubt check out CNN's Finding Jesus: Faith Fact Forgery which airs March 5th at 9pm EST.

I have a $25 dollar gift card for LIFEWAY that I would like to give away to one reader that is interested in purchasing a new bible or devotional. Comment below and tell me about a time that the Lord helped you hold it together when you were full of doubt. Winner will be selected randomly, look for the announcement on my Instagram on Monday (be sure to follow me there).




7 comments:

  1. During our wait for a babymy prayer was also that struggles would draw me closer and never push me farther away from God. I put my HOPE in him and he never let me down.

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    1. Hi I'm Amie and technology challanged . . . .

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  2. Trying to conceive something that God placed on your heart for years without an answer was the hardest thing I've gone through. From falling out on the floor crying to being depressed, God showed up and out when He decided to bless us with twins. He may not come when you want Him but He's right on time!! I had doubt in my heart based on what doctors told us but I know a doctor that has all the answer regardless of what anyone thinks of says.

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  3. I would say during pregnancy I had huge amounts of doubt and fear about if I was capable of going through labor. I was terrified and prayed constantly about it throughout pregnancy. When I finally went into labor I had a verse going through my head constantly... "my power is made perfect in weakness." And I never once worried or felt like I was incapable of what my body was doing. ����

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  4. I love this verse from Luke! I feel like that's how the Lord encourages me when I doubt, scripture! I always find his word so alive and active and able to calm so many worries and doubts in my heart. But then as I read your blog post and a I love this verse from Luke! I feel like that's how the Lord encourages me when I doubt, scripture! I always find his word so alive and active and able to calm so many worries and doubts in my heart. But then as I read your blog post and see his faithfulness to bring you to 38 weeks, I am encouraged in my doubt that I can get there too. And I know he uses our fellow believers to bring encouragement to our hearts as well. :-) So thank you for sharing! Love reading your words friends, you're such an encouragement! -Chelsea

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  5. Your story rings so close to my heart! Before I had Sadie I month after month I waited to see a line on a pregnancy test. I remember a time in particular where I was sitting in the toilet and my period started and I was like I don't want to do this any more, why Lord. Well I happened to be going through Genesis and I was at the part where God told Abraham that Sarah would give birth to a son and so the story goes. I know the story wasn't about me but I felt the Lord saying He had this. Later on another date I was reading Psalm 145 and part of the chapter talked about telling the generations of the faithfulness of the Lord. I was like I don't know if you're talking about our own children or others coming up after us but I want to tell future generations of Your faithfulness! So here we are three babies later (one in heaven), we get to tell our girls of God's faithfulness!

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  6. beautiful friend. The Lord WRECKED me this weekend at church.. the whole sermon was Romans 5:3-5. He healed any belief and restored HOPE! It was so powerful!!

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