Regrets

04 July 2015


Being a new mother is hard. Especially when your reality is fighting against your fantasy - all while stealing your sanity.

I was browsing through my photos today and there is so much of those early days that I don't remember. I pushed myself to the extreme with worries about not being adequate enough for my babies because of this there are chunks of time and days that I can't recollect.

If I could go back in time to before my sons were born this is what I'd say to myself.

Dear Self,

You are amazing. You've conquered this twin pregnancy like a beast. You gave up so much of what you thought pregnancy would be like for the health and safety of your boys. It's absolutely okay to lay on the couch or bed as much as you want to keep those babies baking and you can absolutely eat what you want. That weight will fly off faster than it went on. Your body knows how to grow these babies. You will carry them to term.

Don't worry about the doctors said about your baby they don't know the future. You will have a son and he will be perfect. Don't entertain thoughts of him dying or being deformed. Plan and buy for a twin nursery, both of your babies will survive. Ignore all those scary prenatal test, you will not take the lives of these little ones no matter what you find out. 

You will overcome all the breastfeeding  challenges that come your way, so be easy on yourself. Your boys will love you because you are more than enough for them. Enjoy motherhood, the ups and the downs because right now, your future self misses pregnancy and the early days of motherhood. Moments are fleeting and babies don't keep.

Love Always,
Future Self
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