Quiet

10 May 2015

It's been quiet here on my blog, but this space is currently no reflection of my life and the beautiful chaos it includes.  I'm a mother now. I am still on the hunt for the balance between being a wife, mother, and myself.

As I type this now my sweet husband has agreed to give me a little space and put our littlest bear to sleep. He's currently fighting it and I'm torn between abandoning this post to wrap my arms around him or to continue enjoying a little time to myself. Motherhood, its a constant battle of choices.

It's hard for me to put into words the way I felt about Mother's Day for the last 7 or so years, mainly because I just hid from the day and pretended it didn't exist. Last year around this time I was newly pregnant, hardly anyone could tell but I boasted about it because I was so thrilled to be closing in on my dreams. This year I have been a mother to twin boys for 5 months. This holiday can bring so much pain in the world that I have escaped from. Even with giggling babes on my lap I am still finding it hard to love a day that hurts so many. Yes it'll be nice to celebrate but I hurt for all those that ache to be mothers. I hold on to the dream that sweet friends of mine will soon have babes in their arms and know the joy of parenting their very own little ones - whether by birth, adoption, or any other means God has in mind. Until then I pray for each one of them, that God will soothe their broken hearts and that they would feel his love on them each and everyday. I have not forgotten you, I think of and pray for you often.

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mommies out there, including the Mommies at heart.


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