It's changing me, I can feel it. I've wanted this for so long but I'm having a hard time saying goodbye to my former self. When I look in the mirror these days I hardly recognize who I've become. Who is this woman up at 3am cuddling babies without a single complaint? Who is this woman that isn't grossed out by projectile spit up or poo? Who is this woman that finds being touched delightful? Who is this woman?! I don't know her yet there is so much about her that I admire.
I'm working hard to understand this new role. I've never liked to be touched yet four tiny hands probe me all day. God knew physical touch wasn't my love language so he made me a mother. I get it, through touching unspoken words flow. Little baby hands touch me to say " I love you, Mommy" - while little baby heads lay on my shoulder to say "I need you.". It's all so overwhelming it makes my heart swell. Patience was never my strong suit yet it glows from within while holding a crying babe. Its changing me, motherhood is changing me at the core.
And I'm eternally grateful.