31 Weeks: Grateful

27 October 2014

I'm just that - grateful. There has been so much heartache in the lives of so many of my friends I have nothing to express except gratitude in my own life. Sure there are things going on in my life that aren't so great but they pale in comparison to infant loss, premature childbirth, miscarriage, losing a husband in your two week wait and the hard unknowns of infertility. Yes all these horrid things have happened since the first day of October to several people I know. 

I have been wanting to run away from all the bad news I've heard. But God doesn't want us to run and hide yet to stand and bear each other's burdens. Standing in the thick of it with friends and family members through their struggles has a great way of putting perspective in your own life.

I had a few days where I found myself envying the health of my friend's twins. When she lost them I felt devastating grief for her yet gratitude in my own situation because I was reminded it could be worst. A few weeks ago a sister in our TTC community lost her husband in a car accident. Shortly after his death she found out their IVF was successful, she is pregnant. It's been on my mind to complain about how much my husband has been working and how little we see each other, but at least he comes home. This woman conceived her long awaited child who will never know it's father. She's received and lost great loves in the blink of an eye.

I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in your own life. I've done it, I do it - but being intertwined in the lives of others reminds me it's not that bad. I encourage you to look outside of your problems and gain some perspective you may see it's really not as bad as it seems. I've found great joy in holding hands both figuratively and literally with my friends as they navigate through struggles. Our relationships thrive, my friends survive, and God gets so much glory.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Like a whale! Bloop bloop bloop! I wouldn't change a thing. I felt huge before but that didn't come with a reason. Right now I'm building two humans and it feels awfully good to be chunky for a purpose.  

How far along? 31 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A pineapple.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None, but skin feels like its riping. Maybe soon?!

Sleep: No sleep, no naps...don't know how I'm surviving.

Exercise: Yes walking to the fridge and to the car before and after appointments.

Miss Anything: Eating a full plate of food and sleeping on my back.

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Orange Juice, Ice cold water, sushi....the vegan kind.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating too much too fast.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Other than a major meltdown Friday night I feel happy. Thankfully my husband forgives me and God does too.

Looking forward to: Maternity pictures that happened this past Saturday!

29 & 30 weeks: Showered With Love

17 October 2014

I could hardly sleep the night of October 3rd. It has been so many years since I first envisioned what our baby shower would be like. The anticipation was killing me and I got absolutely no sleep the night before. When the sun came up in the morning I was still awake and drifted off to sleep for about an hour or two. My mind was racing with all the last minute things I needed to do before celebrating with my friends and family that night. 

My best friend and mom were in charge of getting all the shower details together. I told them I didn't want to know anything but gave them the ideas that were floating around in my head. By 1pm on October 4th the anticipation and food cravings were killing me. I had been craving the cake that we had tried weeks earlier and I was ready to party.

I put on my dress, arched my eyebrows, dusted on some bronzer and headed out. My heart was pounding so fast as we came up to the Italian restaurant. I couldn't believe this was it. My husband helped me out of the car and we headed in. I arrived 30 minutes earlier just to see all that they had put together before guest arrived. As soon as I got a glimpse of the room I began to cry. It was all that I could have asked for and more. My heart was completely overwhelmed with just the thought of celebrating our journey to parenthood. I hugged my best friend and told her I was so grateful for her help and love.

The night was wonderful - friends and family all showed up and behaved. It was a wonderful gathering of men and women. My husband and I felt so much love and joy as we were being celebrated and welcomed into parenthood. This is the one time that infertility didn't cast a shadow over our experience. Many people in the room knew our journey but many of them didn't. I didn't take the time to make a huge announcement like I thought I would years earlier. We didn't want infertility to have any of the spotlight.

Some things about our shower:

Our theme was Hollywood.

Our guest list was CoEd - for men and women, no kids.

We asked guest not to wrap their gifts or bring cards.

We asked for books in lieu of cards to start a library for the babies.

The shower was held at a beautiful Italian restaurant.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Stuffed but happy. I am amazed at my body. I was told that I needed to take it easy now just a few days after the shower. So I am resting more to give my body the fuel it needs to grow these babies to term. Everything on me continues to grow, my ribs and skin hurt like my belly is doubling in size. Babies are growing fast and I can feel that they are longer and stronger. 

How far along? 30 weeks today. Measuring 37 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A butternut squash. Both babies are weighing 3lbs and possibly slightly over that now.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: Besides Naps sleep is elusive. How I crave thee 

Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything:  Sleep

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Cold fruit, any kind really, pancakes and spaghetti.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Definitely moody most of the time. I don't know what happened. 

Looking forward to: Finishing the nursery I am in total nesting mode now. I need to finish everything for the babies in the next 5 minutes lol.

28 Weeks: Ello 3rd Trimester

01 October 2014

Wow! Twenty Eight weeks? Honestly if I wasn't dealing with the switching of doctors and unpleasant things during this pregnancy I wouldn't believe it was happening to me. Today the babies roll, kick, hiccup, and punch each other - I love it.

My prayer for boredom for the rest of this pregnancy has been answered thus far. Besides routine appointments with three doctors everything else has been smooth flowing. I am so grateful to God for this all. In my last post I shared that we had done the MRI. I have no news on the results.. I have not seen the doctor who ordered those test yet. When I have some news I will share here on the blog.

I finally feel bliss as we get ready to tackle these last few weeks of pregnancy and prepare for the arrival of our Baby Bears. We have just 12 weeks left, and yes I know that on average twins come early - but honestly nothing has been average about my pregnancy so I don't lump myself into those neat little boxes that the doctors design. I am still believing my babies will make it fullterm and that my body will open on it's own to let them out. So far nothing has happened to make me believe otherwise.

I don't have a report on how large the babies are yet, that will come in a few days. However I did get the news from my OB that my uterus is now measuring at 35 weeks. That's the size of an almost 9 month pregnant uterus, eek! Although most people comment on how I am carrying small for twins they have no idea how my insides feel. My babies have decided they rather be closer to my heart so they have grown upwards instead of out, this leaves little room for food or air!

Overall I am feeling pretty good. I prefer the day over night because that's when I am most comfortable. Sleeping is hard, I can hardly get comfortable and my belly is just really heavy. Oh how I long for sleep in a lazy boy. The sleepless nights have served as good practice for the sleepless nights to come. My body seems to be handling everything quite well. I don't have pregnancy diabetes, I am not swelling, but I have gained good amount of weight. I still ask not to know my weight but I was told by my nurse yesterday to keep going. It's reassuring to hear from doctors and nurses that my babies need nourishment and I am being encouraged to give them what they need. Eating has been a challenge because I can only eat small amount every 1-2 hours but its great not being on a restricted diet.

Speaking of food, we have some exciting things coming up this first week of October and I am so glad. On Saturday the 4th my hubby and I will be attending our baby shower. I will have lots of cake to celebrate. On the Monday the 6th we will have our 3D/4D ultrasound and on Tuesday the 7th my hubby turns one year older. He will be the same age as Jesus. Do any of you know how old that is?

Lastly I want to apologize for the mix up when the blog was private a few days ago. I am preparing for some big changes on the blog and we were doing a little maintenance. My apologies. Thank you all for reading, praying, texting, and emailing me. I really do love and appreciate you all.
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