17 Weeks: Healing Needed

17 July 2014

Baby B
Baby A (Not a huge size difference Baby B is zoomed)

On Monday I got some news that I was not expecting. As I sat on the ultrasound table yet again the technician told me she would give the doctor my results before sending me out for bloodwork. This is the usual procedure at the Perinatologists office so it didn't set off any alarms. My mom and I chatted it up about how much bigger the babies are and how they were kicking each other in the head and how they would get along in the future. I felt the appointment was a success, save for the fact that it was now the second appointment my husband missed - I was still in an absolute state of bliss. After a few minutes my doctor walked in, she looked bright and cheery and I still didn't suspect a thing.

She said Baby A is missing an essential part of it's brain. It may be to early to see it but I have a feeling its not there. I had no time to react in tears because she moved on to the course of action immediately. She gave a diagnosis of what it would be called if it was missing, and for the sake of not receiving the diagnosis I am no longer saying those words. In two weeks she wants me to come back for another scan when the baby and it's brain will be bigger. If we still don't see what's supposed to be there we will schedule an MRI. She asked about doing an amniocentisis which I objected to before she could get out the words. She still repeated it asking me if I knew what the procedure did. I stunned her and said yes I do and I know it comes with a risk of miscarriage which I am not willing to chance. So she sent me for a non invasive prenatal screening bloodwork called the Harmony test. I should have results for that in about 10 days.

I wasn't able to process my emotions right away on Monday, but after trying for several hours to give blood for the Harmony test her words and the diagnosis began to penetrate me. I felt anger rising in me again, I said why can't I just have it easy. I've been through so much to get pregnant and I just want my babies to be healthy. Is it really so much to ask? I started to ask myself did I really want to be a mom? But it's too late. I already am a Mom. These babies are relying on me for their very existence and I am relying on God to sustain them. Long before they were placed in my womb I had worries about them. I worried if they would make it pass fertilization. If they would hit the mark on every stage after that. If they would survive genetic testing and freezing. I worried if they would settle into my empty never been pregnant womb. And you know what? They did. God brought them from small microscopic cells to tiny humans with beating hearts that are floating around in my womb. So I believe he can heal them too.

Admittedly I struggled to eat and breathe my way to Tuesday. I even delayed writing this post when my emotions were raw and while my wound was gushing red matter. I delayed writing this because I didn't want to have a pity party, and its so very easy to do with my personality. Instead I am writing this now that I have found my strength to stand while clinging to God and his healing word. I am sharing this because I need you my readers, my fellow believers, my sisters and maybe a few brothers in Christ to pray for my Baby A. I ask that you pray specfically for the baby's brain to be fully functioning and fully developed as God intended. That He would continue to knit my baby together in the seclusion of my womb. Please pray for complete healing and that the doctors would see exactly what they are supposed to see by 18 weeks. I also ask that you pray for Baby B who is in excellent health, we all know that with twins they are really in this together. Often times that means that the survival of one twin is contingent on the survival and health of the other.

I will be back at the doctor on July 28th at 3pm. I need you my prayer warriors to set your alarms and lift us up in prayer as we have our scan and daily before that. I believe in God's healing powers and I believe in the power of prayer. Please rally your friends and other prayer warriors and ask them to pray too. I hope you can do this for me. We really need you.


Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16

37 comments:

  1. Charity, thank you so much for sharing what is going on. Please know that I will be praying for you, the precious babies and your husband. Yes, our God is powerful and He is our Healer! Nothing is impossible for Him!

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  2. Oh, sweet girl! I have no words for you right now - just tears for your pain! I will be praying DAILY for your little ones. I don't understand why you'd have to go through this, just know that you have so many of us loving you and your babies!

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  3. Been thinking of you ever since you told me. Love you so much Charity. Standing in agreement with you and the word and declaring them healed in Jesus name! Rebuking the enemys attack and any negative diagnosis. Praying. Praying!

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  4. Oh Charity, I'll be praying for you. Thank you for sharing this with us so we can pray and lift you up.

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  5. Praying for your babies at 3pm July 28, everyday before then, and after!

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  6. just prayed for you, your family, and the babies!

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  7. my words are insufficient. Only the Lord can hear the deepest words that we have a hard time finding. I know he'll hear our requests and fulfill his promises! Charity, Love you girl, and we are praying praying praying for total and complete healing. I expect nothing less, because our God is THAT GOOD.

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  8. Praying fervently for both babies and for the healing of baby A. Thank you so much for telling us what is going on so that we can lift you all up in His name. God is bigger!

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  9. Praying for you... for those babies... for comfort... for strength... for HEALING!!!!

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  10. Oh girl! I am praying for you and those babies. I pray for healing but also for comfort and understanding that only God can give!

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  11. Charity, I will be praying for your babies and for you to continue to have the strength to carry on with a healthy pregnancy. I also respect you so much for refusing the amniocentisis! Thank you for sharing this really intimate post with us.
    ~Mely

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  12. Praying for you! Thank you for sharing with us all and we are all in this together! Go babies Go!!!

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  13. Ugh. So tough. God hears prayers, and we're all praying. And God still does miracles, so we'll pray for a fully healthy checkup!

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  14. I will be praying for healing and that your next appointment will show full growth. I love your heart in this post! Such a testimony.

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  15. Charity, I am setting my alarm for the 28th and I will be praying for you and Baby A. I fully believe that God will continue knitting them together intentionally, just as you said.

    Praying with you,

    Jess

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  17. I'll be praying for you and the babies, Charity.

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  18. Oh sugars! This was so hard for me to read and even harder for me to try and understand. I am praying for you sweet baby's healing and I know that by His wounds we ARE healed.

    Dear Poppa God,
    You are amazing! You are perfect and merciful! No one is better than you! You created the heavens and the earth with just your words! No other god's can do that! You are the one TRUE God. Your words says that we are healed, restored, and made whole. Your word also says that you will not reject our pleas; therefore, I pray for baby A. I pray for complete healing of this child's brain and that he/she will continue to grow and develop perfectly. I know that this is your will because sickness, disease and lack is not part of your plan to give us hope and a future. I thank you for hearing my prayer and I wait in excited, joyful and confident expectation for an amazing doctor's report on the 28th. You and you alone are God and our healer. Thank you for your faithfulness. I pray all of this in Jesus name. Amen.

    From this moment on, I am believing in faith that God has heard my heartfelt prayer and He has indeed answered. Baby A is healed, restored, and whole. Love ya girlie!

    waitingforbabybird.com

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  19. We are here for you! Prayers until he hear the good news! "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles." -Psalm 34:17

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  20. Praying for all of you. xoxo

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  21. We have your back, 100%. I'm so sorry to hear about the scare but me and my family will be keeping you all in our prayers.

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  22. Praying for you and the *perfect* health of those babies. How lucky they are to have a mother like you.

    xoox

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  23. Oh sweet friend. I am praying so hard!! I have also sent a request out to the prayer group so you can have a few more prayers on your and Twin A's behalf. Sending so much love!! ♥

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  24. It is my joy to bring this to Jesus feet with you! Praying for peace, hope, joy, and healing!

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  25. Praying for you and both of your precious babies! Hoping for healing and good news next week!

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  26. praying. praying. praying. praying.
    lean on God and your brothers and sisters in Christ for comfort.
    there are no words to help heal your frustration and anger and pain, hugs friend.

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  27. You don't know me, but I am praying for you and your babies! My husband and I are in the process of dealing with a potential very premature birth of our daughter (at 27 weeks), and I understand some of your pain and needing to be dependent on the Lord during this time. May He sustain you and continue to hold your little ones!

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  28. Praying for you!! I can't imagine the pain and worry you are experiencing. I'm going to be praying for you and those precious babies!

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  29. praying for you ALL!! God is good,all the time!

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  30. Praying for you and both your sweet babies! I know that God can heal and I will continue to pray that he does, friend!

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  31. Oh my gosh, Charity. This is so not fair. I can only imagine your anger. I will be praying for you and hoping that God heals your little one and his little brain develops normally.

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  32. Praying for your babies and for Baby A's brain. Our God is a God of miracles.

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  33. Praying with you now and will again on the 28th. There is no disease or sickness in heaven, and God has the power to heal Baby A IF there is anything wrong. Praying it was just a tad early and good news will come out of this!

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  34. You brave woman for sharing and so completely praying for your baby for healing and God's grace and for you both to continue to be the strong pillars of strength I've seen since following you! Such love and honesty in your heart lovely lady - Dan and I praying for your babies! xx

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  35. Stay strong babies, stay strong Charity! My thoughts and prayers are with you. Praying for good news on Monday. xx

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  36. I have nominated you for the "Very Inspiring Blogger award". Thanks you for being such an inspiration to me and so many others! xo

    Check out your nomination here....
    http://waitingforbabybird.com/2014/07/27/very-inspiring-blogger-award/

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