For many years I have planned how I would spill the beans to my husband and to my family when I found out that we were expecting. During those moments of planning to announce a pregnancy I never imagined we would have such difficulty getting pregnant. The thoughts of announcing a pregnancy seemed to grow further and further away from being a reality.
If you know someone who has or if you have done infertility treatments yourself you know that the element of surprise is lost in the world of infertility. When you begin your treatments you expect the news of pregnancy in weeks, days, or months to come. You expect that after spending thousands of dollars that on beta test day you will indeed receive a positive result. For several years I got negatives or never even made it to my beta day to test for pregnancy.
This time I was full of hope. I didn't buy a single pregnancy test because I didn't want to fall into temptation and test for pregnancy at home. My beta test day was scheduled for 9 days after our embryo transfer. As days went on I struggled to remain hopeful because I didn't feel the pregnant that I expected. Each day I expected that I would start my menstrual cycle and all hope would be lost. To my surprise I made it to beta day for the first time ever, it was Wednesday April 16th. I had my blood drawn at around 5:45am. I was already in a bad mood because I had to be stabbed twice. The first time there was a tube malfunction and the second time the phlebotomist finally found my vein after probing for it with the needle. While she was searching for my vein I remembered what she told me the first time she drew my blood in January, she said your veins are not good now but when you get pregnant they are going to fill up and be easy to find. Surely I was not pregnant because she probed and took forever to find a decent vein. I left feeling only a tiny bit hopeful - when I got in the car I prayed to God. I said I believe Daddy, but help me in my unbelief.
Four hours later my phone rang, it was my nurse calling to give me the results. My chest tightened and my heart pounded in my chest - I decided that I would not answer the phone. I didn't know how I would reacted and I needed to have some control. So I waited until I heard the voicemail notification chime on my phone and asked God to give me strength before listening to it. My heart was in my throat at this point. I lifted the phone to my ear after pressing play, I could hardly hear her greeting because my heart was beating so loudly. The only word I did hear was "Congratulations!". I dropped to my knees and started to sob, I cried out thank you God thank you God while rolling on the floor. I laid there for a while in disbelief, while drying my tears I listened to the message again. I couldn't believe it, I was pregnant.
While it didn't happen the way I had hoped I was so grateful, so thrilled, just delighted to have life growing inside of me. I picked up the phone and dialed my husband, the phone rang once and then I hung up. The opportunity to surprise him with the news was staring me right in the face. I needed to get the news out so I texted a friend who I knew would be awake to share in the excitement. I really wanted to talk to my FET cycle buddies but they are in another time zone so I had to wait a few more hours to share the news with them. I talked with my friend and she asked if I had told my husband and I said no that I wanted to surprise him. She helped me with a few ideas and I ventured out to the store to set the plan in motion. My hubby called me several times throughout the day to see if the doctor’s office had called me. I told him no. Nothing wrong with a little white lie, right?
Fast forward to when I came home, to my surprise he was already at home waiting on me. I pretended to be grumpy and stormed into the restroom to use the pregnancy test. Immediately two strong lines showed up and it was like magic. I could not believe my eyes. I capped the test and shoved it into the pharmacy bag with the other items I had for my husband. I sat on the couch and called him over, he came over looking puzzled - probably thinking that I had bad news. I gave hime the pharmacy bag and he tried to peep in. I said no just open it. So he did, and a huge grin crept over his face. He was speechless. Then he said he knew it. I was thrilled to have had the chance to surprise him like I had always dreamed of.
At that time we didn't know we were expecting twins but I purchased two onesies just in case we needed them. Turns out we did.