Husband Shaming

12 March 2014

Today I am five days post Egg Retrieval. If you missed it my husband and I are in treatment for IVF. We began stimulation on February 23 which involved nightly injections in my belly for 10 days. My husband played doctor and gave me my injections each night. He was also taking antibiotics up until Egg Retrieval. I share the details of our cycle here.

But lets rewind a bit. I want to tell you how it all started. A few days before getting my new car, I had been prompted daily to call and schedule an appointment with a new RE. I ignored these convictions for a month and then before getting my car they came back. The conviction and direction were unmistakably clear I needed to make an appointment. Finally I listened and four days before getting my new car I called and made an appointment. I knew previously that my husband's work insurance did not cover infertility treatments or pretty much anything fertility related. So I asked the price for the testing and appointment and was prepared to pay it on the day that I went in. The financial coordinator for the office called me a day before my appointment and asked for my insurance info. I told her they would not cover anything but she insisted that we try. So I gave her the info, all the while I was rolling my eyes and highly annoyed. A few days later we went to our appointment ironically it was on the same day I was fasting with a group of women to end abortion. We talked to the doctor who actually listened to our concerns and had familiarized herself with our medical history long before we got there. She was thorough and said that we looked like great candidates for IVF but she wanted to run more test.

We felt at peace that if we were to do IVF she was the doctor and this was the place that we would start our treatments. So that's what we did. Before leaving the appointment I tried to pay for the services and the front desk coordinator informed me that they would submit the bill to the insurance and if they didn't pay it they main office would bill me.


I continued to think negatively of my insurance company and knew I would get a bill very soon. The next day I had a Saline Ultrasound and Mock Transfer all in one. Less than a week later I was told that all my genetic test came back normal. Two days after that I met with a genetic counselor and went over our family history for a risk assessment. All the while I had not paid one red cent. I began to worry about the bills thinking they would come and be insurmountable but I was reminded to trust,  believe, and surrender. My doctor called me again and told me she believed that my tubes were blocked based on a report from my old HSG. She said she tried to check during my ultrasound but saw nothing. I was advised to try and get the films but was told that we could move forward with out them.

I contacted my old RE's office to try and track down the films. They gave me the run around and I gave up because it was getting too stressful.

Fast forward to February 9th I went in to have Day 3 bloodwork done. Less than two hours later I got a phone call saying that everything looked fantastic and that I was cleared to start birth control for my IVF cycle. I was amazed and couldn't believe it - I was excited and then all of a sudden worry hit me like a mack truck. How were we going to pay for all this? My husband and I had a good amount in savings but that took a huge hit when we got my new car so I knew what was left wasn't going to be enough. Again that small voice reminded me to trust, believe, surrender - so we moved forward.


I took birth control pills happily for 13 days before beginning injections. I also worried a bit on how we would afford all the meds we needed but we were given a few meds by my sweet friend Kasey and paid for the rest ourselves. Her sweet gift helped us save money to use towards other areas in our IVF process. Thank you for being a part of our journey in your generosity and support.


My husband who I originally didn't trust to inject me was eager to learn at our meds class. One of my friends cycling with me encouraged me to give him a chance, I said okay but still planned to do the injections myself. During our meds class my husband asked tons of questions and practiced on the fake belly, when we went home that night he said he felt confident and wanted to try. My friends words came back into my mind and then that small voice returned and said trust, believe, surrender. Three days later my husband mixed the medicine and gave me my first injection - it wasn't so bad and by the next night he was Dr. Hubby practically a professional. For 10 days my husband injected me at 7pm each night. He was very gentle and letting him handle the medicines took the pressure off of me and I was able to just relax. He drove me to each of my appointments prayed for me when I had to get bloodwork because my veins are hard to find. Each day during this process I could feel our marriage growing strong.


Before I knew it the day for Egg Retrieval came. I hadn't eaten anything since about 9pm the night before. We had to be to the doctor's office at 9:30am for retrieval but we both couldn't sleep so we were up by 7am. I hopped in the shower to prep for the retrieval, at this moment my husband began to loose all the brownie points he had scored over the past three weeks. When I came out of the bathroom I was assaulted by the smell of sausage, eggs, grits and maybe toast! I came flying into the living room to see if my nose was deceiving me. I found my husband eating while I was starving and had many more hours before I could eat. The only thing I could do was take his photo in hopes to bring him shame for not fasting in solidarity with me. Of course he tried to hide from the camera but you can see his plate.


My mom called me right after I took his photo to let me know that she and her husband were praying for us. She said she was even fasting and wouldn't eat until I was out of surgery. What a sweet thing to do even my mom knew it was important to fast with me. Who's making these babies me and him or me and my mom. Ha. (P.S. this was all in fun, I was not upset just poking fun. Hubby was on antibiotics and he had to take them with a meal, I just forgot before taking his photo).

After husband shaming commenced Mr.FixIt, I mean Dr.Hubby and I went to check in for our Egg Retrieval. I prayed several times because my heart was beating outside of my chest. My heart was beating at 102-108 beats per minute. I was nervous because I had never had surgery or been put under for any reason. My hubby did his part while they prepped me and got my IV in. My IV didn't hurt a bit and probably because my thoughts were focused elsewhere. Each of the ladies that were there for Egg Retrieval went in and came out. It was finally my turn and my heart began to race again, that small voice said trust, believe, surrender. 


As I walked down the hall into the room I was over taken by nervous laughter. I got on the table and they told me to put my butt in the hole, I said what hole and they said you'll know when you find it....then I found it. The lights were dimmed in the OR almost like they were taking me out on a date. The anesthesiologist was handsome like Liam Nesson, he told me I would feel sleepy soon. I laughed again while they tied down my legs and arms I was not sleepy in fact I was wide awake. I thought to myself you aren't putting me to sleep.


Then I woke up - in another room, talking gibberish and I only know this because I was video taped. The doctor told my husband that I had 14 eggs removed. We expected more but he assured us that 14 was a great number. I was in tons of pain and as I type this I am still on the mend, and copping with pain meds. I got the report that of my 14 eggs 10 have become beautiful embryos. I just wanted to share this with you all since I have been a little hush since we started. God provided and talked to me throughout this entire process. He's even talking to me as I go through waiting for a Frozen Embryo Transfer.

It's been more than a month since we had our first appointment with our RE. God has provided every dollar we needed in this journey we never thought we could afford. Each time we've been asked to pay something the money was right there, and other times we were never asked to pay. God has provided, God is good!! He told me to trust, believe, and surrender - I finally did and he's done more than we could have ever imagined.

I request that you pray for our 10 embryos that they make it to freeze and that our preparation for a frozen embryo transfer would go as smooth as possible. I can't wait to share updates with you all. In the mean time continue to check the Baby FixIt button to the right I am updating there whenever we get news.

20 comments:

  1. Wow. I am praying for you guys. I love how open you are, God bless you and continue to strengthen your marriage.
    You are so cute!!!
    www.jadeblyssjourney.blogspot.com

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  2. Beautiful story! Thank you for sharing this! I'm sure there are plenty of ladies out there scared of the process, and now they can find your story for inspiration! Love you, dear friend! I'm going to be praying for you and each and every one of the 10 embryos!

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  3. This brought tears to my eyes! I am so happy for you. Praying hard ♥

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  4. Praying for you, Dr. Hubby and the 10 embryos! I loved reading this. I can feel your faith and excitement in each word! xoxo

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  5. Wow I am a sobbing mess! This is so beautiful! :) So happy and excited for you!!

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  6. Praying for you sweet friend and those 10 beautiful little embryos! What a journey you're on... but praise God for keeping you calm and reassuring you through it all.

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  7. Congrats on a successful retrieval. 10 is a great number to be growing in that lab!

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  8. Girl, this is so exciting! Praying for you and your family!

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  9. So beautiful and thank you for sharing your journey of hope, strength and encouragement. I will definitely be praying for you and your family hun. With GOD all things are possible and you and your husband will be beautiful parents that will be well taken care of because He is in control and in the midst of this journey. Love you my beautiful friend. ..

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  11. Praying for the embryos! And I love the pic of your hubby. Too funny!

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  12. You've been on an amazing journey. I know you've had your ups and downs, but I'm always in awe of your faithfulness through it all. God is amazing!

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  13. This is probably my favorite post of yours. Maybe because I relate so much and maybe because I saw myself in it a few times ;) Love that the Cali socks made it to surgery!! Yay!! I love that hubs got so into giving the shots. Andy was the same. Loved his job. For me, it was nice to have one less thing to think about and share a little more of the process with him.

    You're right. God is so good and provides constantly. We wondered how we'd pay for it all and then we were blessed with the resources without any struggle.

    I have prayed for your embies. May you meet them soon.

    xoxo

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  14. What a blessing that things are going so well! You're in my prayers!

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  15. You and your husband are in my prayers! Your faith and positive attitude is amazing! God is good all the time!

    XOXO
    Chelsea
    http://www.anchorsaweighblog.com/

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  16. Wow, Charity! I am so happy for you! What an amazing journey you have embarked on! I am so excited! Just the other weekend I attended a baby shower for my friend who is pregnant with twins who had IVF. It was so such a special day. (You can read her blog her http://www.thesalskyfamily.blogspot.com) I am so inspired by your faith through the process. It is going to be wonderful to follow along with your story!

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  17. Wow! What an amazing reminder to trust and surrender ourselves to God! I am so happy for you and I will be praying for you, Dr. Hubby, and your ten beautiful embryos! :)

    xoxo

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  18. I love how God continued to remind you to trust and surrender. He is so good! :)

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  19. Love your beautiful story of trust. Thank you for sharing! I look forward to reading more about your journey and my husband and I will be praying for you guys!

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  20. Praying for you guys! So happy you have 10 embryos. So many emotions on that day! That's great that you could go to a medicine class. I was so overwhelmed when we got all our shots. We watched many you tube videos about how to mix medicine and do the shots! I'll continue to be praying for you guys!!

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