28 March 2014

Shared this picture on Instagram today. In this photo I was 1 month old, hard to believe I looked like this 27 years ago. Looking at my own baby face made me ache for my own little babies, I know they are coming soon.
Every single time I had an idea for a blog post I would lose it before I could write it down. 10 percent of my thoughts have been focused on taking medicine, eating, showering, and making it to appointments on time. 90 percent of my mind is consumed with thoughts of babies.

I didn't want to overwhelm you my lovely readers with all my baby obsession but at the same time this is my space to get it all out. I pray you will stick with me as I transition, sort out my thoughts and as I search for my sanity. 

Pardon me if I have said it before but "this IVF process is all consuming"! Even when I want to get my mind off of it I can't because I am reminded by something or someone that I am in the midst of a cycle. I take tiny estrogen pills twice a day, a prenatal vitamin, I email my nurse almost more than I talk to my husband and soon I will be the prize winner for daily injections. This process consumes me, but more than that it invites in hope and faith that at the end little babies will be holding onto my womb for dear life.

My days and night have been filled with sweet dreams of what our babies will look like. I've been praying to God for sweet tempered babies with my button nose and their fathers eyes. Our babies are already conceived - their eye colors, hair texture and skin color have already been carefully crafted and chosen God. We have six little ones waiting to come back to their home, me.

We didn't get to do much of this baby making process the way we had hoped but we are grateful for the opportunity to see God's secret work in the light of day. We know that he will give the right embryos to us that will result in the birth of our precious babies. It's only a matter of when. Until then I spend my days browsing baby things, meditating on scriptures about babies, and praying for my precious babies to be. I know that pregnancy and motherhood will have their challenges but the sweet smile on the face of those round cheeked babies will make it all worth it.

I'm consumed by thoughts of babies.


  1. IVF really is all consuming. I can't wait for you to have those sweet babies growing inside of you! Thinking of you all the time!

  2. I pray that your babies be as sweet as you are. God has chosen the perfect little ones for you. They will be here soon. Hang in there!!

  3. Hard not to be consumed with babymania during IVF, but I think you're doing it in a healthy way....meditating and praying on positive things, not bitterness or negative stuff. I don't think there's anything wrong with being hopeful and thanking God in advance. What you THINK about and THANK about you bring about!

  4. It's wonderful because while you are in the midst of doing your part He has already done His part - perfectly planned just for YOU!

    ...the button nose - my goodness!!! Can I preorder one of those too! that little nose is the cutest! like a little doll!! praying for you lovely lady!!! xx

  5. It's hard not to get consumed with all of this! Thinking of you.

  6. I don't know about anyone else, but I read blogs to learn about other people and to get to know them. Blog about whatever you'd like to blog about my dear! :)

    I'm so excited for you! Praying for you, Mr. Fix-It, and your precious little babies waiting to come home! God bless!

  7. I really liked this post. I felt it was you being vulnerable.

    I think in our culture it is unfashionable for women to admit we are consumed with babies, but for many women this is natural. It's in our DNA and I don't think we should hide it or apologize for it. We are brave for admitting that there is nothing else we want more.

    You know I'm right here with you.

  8. Oh sweet friend! I can only imagine the range of emotions you are feeling right now! And every day that I come to your blog and there isn't a new post, I SMILE, because I know that you are in the midst of something far more exciting! Don't ever worry about too much baby talk - we are all so excited for you and happy that you are sharing this journey with us! I have been praying for you, Charity! Sending much love! ♥

  9. You enlighten me each time I read one of these IVF posts. I don't know anyone personally who has gone through this part of the process before, so it's interesting to me. Pardon my ignorance, but when you mentioned the 6 little ones, how long do they "last"? Do you have to implant all of them at once or as you're ready to carry another baby? I hope you don't mind me asking.

  10. I can't even imagine friend! I feel like our adoption has been consuming me but I don't have all the physical things to do (take pills, appointments, etc), definitely praying for you and some good news soon!!

  11. Excited to hear about your six little babies waiting to one day be born! I pray he or she settles in nice and cozy at "home" for a good nine months. *hugs!* I'd be obsessed about babies too!!!!


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