It Wasn't Love at First Sight

10 February 2014



This is the week of Valentine’s day. And we are going to be seeing all these stories about the great loves of people's lives. We will be reading about how people fell in love with their spouses instantly and had a connection right off the bat. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it doesn’t happen that way for everyone.

I am madly in love with my husband now - head over heels in love with him. But we didn't have that starry eyed moment because it wasn't love at first sight. 

At least not for me.

So many romantic movies make us think that all love stories start that way. By doing this they set us hopeless romantics up for failure. We assume that when we have met the right person we will know it in that moment. We think that it’ll be some instantaneous feeling, some flutter of reassurance or a great bang in the sky. Im here to say that might not be your story. If my husband hadn't pursued me with fervor I don't think we would be married now. I was naive, I thought I would feel butterflies, I thought my mind would automatically know he was the one, and I though my heart would ache for him all the time, but it didn't.

It was actually the complete opposite. I never saw him in that light, I didn't see him as my soul mate, and I didn't give his advances the time of day. My husband is charming, quite attractive, but he was not my type. After months of advances and advice from my grandma I finally took him up on the offer to have dinner together. Even then I still saw him as only a friend - I was way to caught up in making sure he was my type and never once thought if he was the type of guy God wanted me to marry.

Eventually he wore me down and we got married otherwise I would not be writing this. It's been nearly 9 years since I became his Mrs. and although the love at first sight notion is romantic I am totally okay with it not being us. In a way I believe that our marriage has grown stronger because of it. Since I was a shallow teenager when I got married, not being enamored with my husband before marriage helped me to learn a lot about his heart. I was able to see him for who he truly was - we talked about life, family, and God. I learned so much about him and the combination of those things along with him becoming my best friend helped me to fall in love.

I want you to know that.....

love looks different for everyone.

love can be found in the strangest places.

love changes over the years.

love even though it may look effortless, takes work.

love will find you.

It wasn't love at first sight then, but I am overwhelmed with love each time I see him now. Love at first sight isn't wrong or better it just wasn't us.

Your Turn: Was it love at first sight with your husband or significant other? If you are single are you expecting love at first sight, or are you okay with letting the love grow? 

22 comments:

  1. The Hubs and I were just really good friends for about a year before we realized we actually liked each other. But we were the last to find out that we did like each other in a love way. No one was surprised when we told them we were going to date. Ha! He started out as my best friend and has been ever since! I like that you said it takes work though! That is something that people getting married think "oh, not us, that's just for the people who don't really love each other." Nope. I can tell you I love my husband more than anything else in this world, and it still takes work to "love" him some times. It's just the reality of doing life with someone!

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  2. I knew I was going to marry Colby the first time I met him (felt the Lord tell me that), but I would say that't not the norm! Thanks for letting people know that everyone has SUCH a different story!! That is what is beautiful about it... it would be boring if we all had the same one! Love seeing yours and love hearing how he pursued you! Gotta make him work for it ;)

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  3. My husband and I have known each other since Jr. High School. I had never once thought to myself that he was who I would marry. Even once we had been 'seeing' each other, I wasn't sure if he was really who God wanted me to be with. Later I found out that I was just scared, and the Lord was telling me all along he was the one. 3 days before he purposed I had actually talked to him and mentioned that maybe we needed to step back and really pray about this relationship. I was always running away due to fear. God was faithful, my man was faithful and SO patient in waiting for me and the Lord to work things out and find confidence and peace where there was fear. You two are too cute! :) Love your story! XOXO

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    1. Morgan thanks for sharing this!! God is so patient and loving to us. He also send the right men who can embody his qualities. I am so surprised at how patient my husband was I think I would have been gone after 2 weeks of being pushed to the side lol. God knew exactly who we needed in our lives and who we needed to be married to. We are so blessed.

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  4. My husband and I were friends for 2 years before we got together. It takes a lot of the pressure off when we got together because he knew all sort of embarrassing things about me already!

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  5. I love this! Love isn't the same for everyone- everyone has their own journey and everyone's love is different! So glad that you and Oneil have one another now!!

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  6. For me, your story is even more amazing because of that Charity! As for me, I think I would prefer not to have so many butterflies. Mostly because I've seen so many people distracted and a blind because of the butterflies (it's human nature) that it would be nice to get to know the person first outside of that factor and grow into it. But if God chooses to send me butterfly action, I'll take it. :-)

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  7. It wasn't love at first sight for Nate and me either... Hence why we were good friends for 2 1/2 years before dating! I wouldn't have it any other way!

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  8. I would say I "knew" he was my soulmate right away... but at that point in my life every guy I met I would think to myself, is he my soulmate?! So silly. But he was!

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  9. I totally agree with this! Sometimes, love doesn't just hit you in the face. It takes time, and especially if you've built walls to keep everyone out (I'm guilty of this). You do have a liking for people, but true love scares most folks. The more time I spend with my Mr., I pretty much knew he was the one for me, but he was more hesitant! Imagine that! Ha! So I just waited until he figured things out. And I'm so thankful he did!

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  10. I think I knew that my boyfriend was an amazing catch on our first date. Like you said, it truly depends on the couple! My favorite part of this : Love will find you.

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  11. I love hearing about how your love for each other has grown over time, and I agree it's not love at first sight for everyone. Our relationship started much like yours. I def was not looking and hubby almost gave us so many times....then I'd return his call right when he said he was done trying. Ha! If anything, I think it works out better in some ways. I know women who enter relationships in a very desperate place it those almost never work out. We've got to make them work a little for it, ya know! I mean, we're setting the precedent for the next 60 years! hehe

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  12. It wasn't for me either! I first met my husband when we were both 5 years old, it wasn't until we were almost 17 that I fell in love with him. :)

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  13. With my hubby and I, it definitely was NOT love at first, second or third sight. He is 17 years my senior. My love for him grow as months and years past through his kindness and nurturing.

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  14. Nope. Not love at first site for me either. But, my husband was persistent. He knew we were right for each other, but it took him some time to convince me. It was one of those things that didn't make sense to me. Obviously, God had other plans. :)

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  15. Loved reading your story. It definitely was NOT love at first sight for me when I met my husband. I actually dumped him after our 3rd date! Luckily for me, God made it real clear, real fast that I had screwed up, and my future hubby agreed to go out with me again!

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  16. man i needed to read this.
    as a single 25 year old i sometimes get this "notion' of what it should be like if/when i "meet the one" hahaha
    it definitely is different for all people

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  17. I could totally relate to this post. It wasn't love at first site for me either because A wasn't my type. And loved that line about love changing over time...totally agree! Happy V Day!

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  18. I enjoyed reading your story and loved the sentiments you expressed on love. So true. Happy Valentine's Day to you and your Mr.!!!

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  19. uh it was NOT love at first sight for me! He moved to Chiefland, Fl and was placed in my fifth grade class. He wore turtle necks, had his hair swept to the side and was annoying. I remember looking at him in my class and shaking my head. hahaha!!!

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  20. Hi Again! My mom had a best friend that she knew since ever before I was born. This best friend of hers had a tall son 1 year older than me that I never paid much mind to growing up. He always seemed quiet and reserved and I have always been loud, outspoken, a little aloof and super friendly. Last summer my Mom invited me to go to a BBQ at the lake with her friend's family. First we stopped at her friend's house. I saw her son step out of his car at their house. I froze. He was now a Marines Veteran, even taller and so handsome. I barely said hi to him I was so shy. We all left to the lake. 3 hours after arriving I finally talked to him and we didn't stop talking that day. I knew that day I would marry him one day. I got home from the lake and had a Facebook friend request from him and that's where it started 2 weeks later at the top of a mountain he asked me to be his girlfriend. 9 months later he proposed. Now we have been married a month. Who knew the boy I once forced to play house with me when I was a kid would wind up being my husband. Oh and it's safe to say our Marthas were thrilled and very impatiently wait for their grandbabies. (both our moms are named Martha, we call them our Marthas)
    He's quiet, strong willed, serious, realistic, and a stereotypical first child, takes control, fast decision maker
    I'm goofy, loud, friendly, sensitive, hopeful, and thoughtful

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  21. Me and my boyfriend of 2.5 years, lived together for 2, officially ended things last Christmas. I can’t tell you how broken I was. We thought we were perfect for each other and use to tell each other that everyday. He is a band director, and I understand his job is extremely important and time consuming to him, but he didn’t know how to balance his work life and love life. I went weeks without him touching me or giving me a passionate kiss… And he use to always want my kisses; he said they drove him crazy. But he would always “take” things from me, just never return those things unless I started it! We started fighting a lot about it, he even told me he had no reason for not doing those things to me… And he couldn’t understand why I was always angry and depressed. After that conversation he broke up with me just like that. My aunt advice to me, that I should look for help in magic. I looking for a website with love spells that work fasts. I choose http://magical-rituals.com and I’m very satisfied. Boyfriend back to me and his depression is over.

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