37 Weeks: You've Been Served

03 December 2014

Dear Babies,

Okay here's the deal. I'm done playing nice with you. You don't pay rent and you eat all my food. Not to mention you are really nosey and I know you're listening to all my private business. This is your official eviction notice.

Eviction proceedings have started. Your Daddy and I have begun walking and some other fun things to get you out of your cozy two bedroom condo. We've determined that you've out stayed your welcome in my womb and we'd rather have you in our arms. So please do your last minute primping and pack your sweet little bags. We've got a whole world of family and friends waiting on your arrival. Most of all your dear Mommy lacks patience and would really like to sleep on her back again but not before staring at your sweet faces all day.

We are eager to see you and learn about you. We don't even know what your names will be yet. We've got a nice room waiting for you and cozy beds for you to sleep in. We even had our last date before your arrival. So come on don't keep us waiting, we waited 7 years already.

Love Always,
Mommy & Daddy

36 Weeks: Whoa

30 November 2014

We are just 2 weeks shy of full term and 4 weeks away from our due date. I'm just amazed at God and what he created this body to do. I haven't given my body much credit in the past, it's failed me numerous times. But when I became pregnant I asked God to let me see this body he created with new eyes and each day I have been more and more in awe at what it has done.

This body has contained three spirits, nourished three beings, and soon will be responsible for creating two new independent lives. Im thrilled to have been allowed to carry these babies. Im super anxious to meet them but I know my body has to get through one more hurdle, childbirth.

If I said I wasn't a little anxious about the birth part I would be lying. It's foreign to me and even when I try my hardest to imagine it my mind runs a blank. I've been contracting for a few months now but now the contractions have gotten more painful and as of my recent pelvic exam I am certain they are doing something. I keep wondering when the last hurdle will arrive and though I feel absolutely ready I am surrendering to God perfect plan. Once the babies are out they can't go back in so I'm trying mentally to prepare for that too.

This has been the most exciting time of my life. I hate feeling so eager for it to end but my one desire is to see the faces, kiss the cheeks, and cuddle the little bodies that my husband and I have created. They'll be here soon and I can't wait.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Large and stuffed. Waddling like a penguin.

How far along? 36 weeks, measuring 44 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A papaya.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  Yes, but I am totally okay with them and wearing them with pride.

Sleep: No sleep, no naps...don't know how I'm surviving.

Exercise: kick starting December with a long walk. Going to walk these babes out.

Miss Anything: digesting my food.

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Cranberry juice, OJ and water. I'm soooo thirsty these days.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating too much too fast.

Belly Button In or Out: pretty much as out as it will be, you can see it through my shirt now.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Contractions, constant nausea and I am dilated to 3 centimeters. Come on babies.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Looking forward to: Giving birth!

35 Weeks: Who's Your Daddy?

24 November 2014

Dear Babies,

You're probably wondering about that voice that talks to you every morning. Or maybe you're curious about those strong hands that gently massage oil on your home at bedtime. That's the voice and hands of your Daddy.

You're not going to meet him at who he is today but let me tell you a little about who he was before you were born.

Your Daddy is my bestfriend. We met at Publix, a grocery store in Florida. He loves playing guitar, soccer, and an occasional video game. He's a really hard worker and can fix just about anything that breaks. He's super calm and nothing really worries him now, I'm not sure how that'll change once you are born though. Your Daddy is gentle and slow to anger. He's very respectful to everyone yet strong and assertive when he needs to be. Your Daddy loves me and I know he'll love you with all he has to give.

Your Daddy is the most caring man I know. Today after he made us breakfast I got sick to my stomach and puked it all up. I've only gotten sick a handful of times in this last trimester of carrying you two and your Daddy is usually at work. Today he was here and cleaned up after our mess. He also made us more breakfast and gave us liquids to keep away pesky contractions. He didn't even flinch and helped without being prompted. If you ever get sick, you'll be in good hands your Daddy will take good care of you.

If it's not apparent to you yet, your Daddy loves you. He works hard daily to provide for all the needs I have and your needs that we can foresee. Your Daddy loves the Lord is already excited to share his truths with you. Your Daddy calls to check on us daily and ask me to send picture of my belly often to make sure you are okay.

I'd say you babes are blessed because your Daddy is simply amazing. You can thank me for marrying him later. 


34 Weeks: Still Alive Still Pregnant

15 November 2014

I know it's been a while since I updated you all with the happenings of life. Please forgive me for this hiatus as it was unplanned. I am currently experiencing what the books like to call nesting, the urge came over me like a hurricane and I am scrambling to get so many things done. We are now into the single digit weeks of expecting the twins and it's slightly overwhelming.

In all honesty the news we received in the second trimester really pumped the breaks on my excitement in preparing for the babies. Yes I'm faith lead, yes I believe in the power of Christ but I am also human. I struggled to find my footing and to enjoy preparing for my babies, that coupled with my husbands work schedule left us at a screeching halt on the nursery planning. I felt like I couldn't allow myself to dream or get excited because I didn't know what that news really meant for our family. As the weeks/months went on I was finally able to push past those feelings. I saw so much tragedy and it opened my eyes to the fact that I should savor these moments. So today as I type this I am switching between pages on etsy and doodling out a nursery design to complete their little space. 

I don't know how much longer I will be pregnant and the element of surprise that comes with delivery throws me a little. I like to have solid plans and just like with planning a baby I'm sure delivery will come in God's timing. So we wait for the wonderful surprise that will be their birth. We will learn their sexes and see their faces in just a few weeks. At 34 weeks my babies are strong reaffirming with every kick, roll and swish that they are not who the doctor says they are but who our creator says they are. They fearfully and wonderfully made created in HIS image.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Huge. My bones are creaking and my body aches. I thank my Heavenly Father for the experience of pregnancy. These are the aches and pains of creating life. 

How far along? 34 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A cabbage. Weighing in at 5lbs and 5lb 1oz. That's 10lbs of baby in me already plus all the extras!

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None, but skin feels like its riping. Maybe soon?!

Sleep: I hope I can sleep when the babies come.

Exercise: Swimming, soothes my achy body.

Miss Anything: Sleep and being able to sit up unassisted.

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Butternut Squash Soup, Materva, and Grapes

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating too much too fast.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy but weepy sometimes.

Looking forward to: Finishing the nursery.

31 Weeks: Grateful

27 October 2014

I'm just that - grateful. There has been so much heartache in the lives of so many of my friends I have nothing to express except gratitude in my own life. Sure there are things going on in my life that aren't so great but they pale in comparison to infant loss, premature childbirth, miscarriage, losing a husband in your two week wait and the hard unknowns of infertility. Yes all these horrid things have happened since the first day of October to several people I know. 

I have been wanting to run away from all the bad news I've heard. But God doesn't want us to run and hide yet to stand and bear each other's burdens. Standing in the thick of it with friends and family members through their struggles has a great way of putting perspective in your own life.

I had a few days where I found myself envying the health of my friend's twins. When she lost them I felt devastating grief for her yet gratitude in my own situation because I was reminded it could be worst. A few weeks ago a sister in our TTC community lost her husband in a car accident. Shortly after his death she found out their IVF was successful, she is pregnant. It's been on my mind to complain about how much my husband has been working and how little we see each other, but at least he comes home. This woman conceived her long awaited child who will never know it's father. She's received and lost great loves in the blink of an eye.

I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in your own life. I've done it, I do it - but being intertwined in the lives of others reminds me it's not that bad. I encourage you to look outside of your problems and gain some perspective you may see it's really not as bad as it seems. I've found great joy in holding hands both figuratively and literally with my friends as they navigate through struggles. Our relationships thrive, my friends survive, and God gets so much glory.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Like a whale! Bloop bloop bloop! I wouldn't change a thing. I felt huge before but that didn't come with a reason. Right now I'm building two humans and it feels awfully good to be chunky for a purpose.  

How far along? 31 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A pineapple.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None, but skin feels like its riping. Maybe soon?!

Sleep: No sleep, no naps...don't know how I'm surviving.

Exercise: Yes walking to the fridge and to the car before and after appointments.

Miss Anything: Eating a full plate of food and sleeping on my back.

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Orange Juice, Ice cold water, sushi....the vegan kind.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eating too much too fast.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Other than a major meltdown Friday night I feel happy. Thankfully my husband forgives me and God does too.

Looking forward to: Maternity pictures that happened this past Saturday!

29 & 30 weeks: Showered With Love

17 October 2014

I could hardly sleep the night of October 3rd. It has been so many years since I first envisioned what our baby shower would be like. The anticipation was killing me and I got absolutely no sleep the night before. When the sun came up in the morning I was still awake and drifted off to sleep for about an hour or two. My mind was racing with all the last minute things I needed to do before celebrating with my friends and family that night. 

My best friend and mom were in charge of getting all the shower details together. I told them I didn't want to know anything but gave them the ideas that were floating around in my head. By 1pm on October 4th the anticipation and food cravings were killing me. I had been craving the cake that we had tried weeks earlier and I was ready to party.

I put on my dress, arched my eyebrows, dusted on some bronzer and headed out. My heart was pounding so fast as we came up to the Italian restaurant. I couldn't believe this was it. My husband helped me out of the car and we headed in. I arrived 30 minutes earlier just to see all that they had put together before guest arrived. As soon as I got a glimpse of the room I began to cry. It was all that I could have asked for and more. My heart was completely overwhelmed with just the thought of celebrating our journey to parenthood. I hugged my best friend and told her I was so grateful for her help and love.

The night was wonderful - friends and family all showed up and behaved. It was a wonderful gathering of men and women. My husband and I felt so much love and joy as we were being celebrated and welcomed into parenthood. This is the one time that infertility didn't cast a shadow over our experience. Many people in the room knew our journey but many of them didn't. I didn't take the time to make a huge announcement like I thought I would years earlier. We didn't want infertility to have any of the spotlight.

Some things about our shower:

Our theme was Hollywood.

Our guest list was CoEd - for men and women, no kids.

We asked guest not to wrap their gifts or bring cards.

We asked for books in lieu of cards to start a library for the babies.

The shower was held at a beautiful Italian restaurant.

About the Pregnancy:

How I'm Feeling? Stuffed but happy. I am amazed at my body. I was told that I needed to take it easy now just a few days after the shower. So I am resting more to give my body the fuel it needs to grow these babies to term. Everything on me continues to grow, my ribs and skin hurt like my belly is doubling in size. Babies are growing fast and I can feel that they are longer and stronger. 

How far along? 30 weeks today. Measuring 37 weeks.

Babies are the size of:  A butternut squash. Both babies are weighing 3lbs and possibly slightly over that now.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: Besides Naps sleep is elusive. How I crave thee 

Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything:  Sleep

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.

Food cravings: Cold fruit, any kind really, pancakes and spaghetti.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Definitely moody most of the time. I don't know what happened. 

Looking forward to: Finishing the nursery I am in total nesting mode now. I need to finish everything for the babies in the next 5 minutes lol.

28 Weeks: Ello 3rd Trimester

01 October 2014

Wow! Twenty Eight weeks? Honestly if I wasn't dealing with the switching of doctors and unpleasant things during this pregnancy I wouldn't believe it was happening to me. Today the babies roll, kick, hiccup, and punch each other - I love it.

My prayer for boredom for the rest of this pregnancy has been answered thus far. Besides routine appointments with three doctors everything else has been smooth flowing. I am so grateful to God for this all. In my last post I shared that we had done the MRI. I have no news on the results.. I have not seen the doctor who ordered those test yet. When I have some news I will share here on the blog.

I finally feel bliss as we get ready to tackle these last few weeks of pregnancy and prepare for the arrival of our Baby Bears. We have just 12 weeks left, and yes I know that on average twins come early - but honestly nothing has been average about my pregnancy so I don't lump myself into those neat little boxes that the doctors design. I am still believing my babies will make it fullterm and that my body will open on it's own to let them out. So far nothing has happened to make me believe otherwise.

I don't have a report on how large the babies are yet, that will come in a few days. However I did get the news from my OB that my uterus is now measuring at 35 weeks. That's the size of an almost 9 month pregnant uterus, eek! Although most people comment on how I am carrying small for twins they have no idea how my insides feel. My babies have decided they rather be closer to my heart so they have grown upwards instead of out, this leaves little room for food or air!

Overall I am feeling pretty good. I prefer the day over night because that's when I am most comfortable. Sleeping is hard, I can hardly get comfortable and my belly is just really heavy. Oh how I long for sleep in a lazy boy. The sleepless nights have served as good practice for the sleepless nights to come. My body seems to be handling everything quite well. I don't have pregnancy diabetes, I am not swelling, but I have gained good amount of weight. I still ask not to know my weight but I was told by my nurse yesterday to keep going. It's reassuring to hear from doctors and nurses that my babies need nourishment and I am being encouraged to give them what they need. Eating has been a challenge because I can only eat small amount every 1-2 hours but its great not being on a restricted diet.

Speaking of food, we have some exciting things coming up this first week of October and I am so glad. On Saturday the 4th my hubby and I will be attending our baby shower. I will have lots of cake to celebrate. On the Monday the 6th we will have our 3D/4D ultrasound and on Tuesday the 7th my hubby turns one year older. He will be the same age as Jesus. Do any of you know how old that is?

Lastly I want to apologize for the mix up when the blog was private a few days ago. I am preparing for some big changes on the blog and we were doing a little maintenance. My apologies. Thank you all for reading, praying, texting, and emailing me. I really do love and appreciate you all.

27 Weeks: Beautifully Flawed

24 September 2014

Sweet Nose & Baby Lips

At 27 years old, I'm 27 weeks pregnant. When my birthday came this year I was recovering from having my first surgery. I didn't go out to dinner or even sip a glass of wine. I was pretty bloated and crampy - coasting sky high on pain medicine. Even with all that I knew then, I never imagined I would be here now - pregnant.

On this very day of our 27th week of pregnancy I had the MRI. This would be the final step in the process of seeing what is really going on with our little love while I'm pregnant. I don't know what the results are going to be and the anxiety I had of facing that appointment has dissipated. I prayed really hard today before and during the appointment. I laid on a barely cushioned slab for 2.5 hours as I was drawn in and out of a dark hole. My hips and sides burned as the weight of my uterus hung unsupported. The pain was worth it to know that when my sweetheart is born s/he won't have to leave my side. I will take any misery for this little one so that on B-Day we can bond and nurse in peace. I prayed 2 Timothy 1:17 the entire time as the noise from the machine swirled around me. Eventually peace overcame me and I dozed in and out of sleep. Somewhere between wake and sleep I heard the words "beautifully flawed".

Whether or not a condition is confirmed or denied both of my babies and myself are beautifully flawed. We were made beautiful by our Creator but by living in a fallen world we face things we didn't expect and things that God does not want for us. As we face frightening challenges its so important to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes our friends, spouses, and families are not enough to carry us through - during those times God wants to be our number one. I felt Him beckoning me nearer to Him today, reminding me that no matter what the test reveals he's a big enough God to equip me with whatever we need. My faith is not in my wonderful doctor but in the Savior who died for healing, forgiveness, and our redemption.

I'm 27 years old and 27 weeks pregnant with two miracles, that's enough for me to know that God's got this.

How far along? 27 weeks today.

Babies are the size of:  A CucumberTotal weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!Maternity clothes?  Yes.Stretch marks?  None.Sleep: Besides Naps sleep is elusive. How I crave thee Exercise: What's that?Miss Anything:  A full nights sleep.   Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves...hiccups.Food cravings: Pizza and Orange Juice! Don't judge me.Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.Rings On or Off: On.Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks....still.Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.Looking forward to: My 28 week appointment, we'll see the babies in 3/4D! Come faster please I want to see sweet cheeks and button noses.

Faithful Friday: All Lies

19 September 2014

Hey Lovelies. This Friday I am collaborating with six wonderful bloggers to talk about the lies we have been facing in our lives. I hope you will stop by and check it out as I am sure there will be some encouragement for you there and we could always use an encouraging word too. Click HERE to read the post.

26 Weeks: The Quest

17 September 2014

I could continue pretending that things have been all rosy on the doctor front but they haven't been. I have three doctors I love my nutritionist and perinatologist, I'm talking about my OB, again. Early in my pregnancy I told you all that I had found an OB that I honestly hated. I know hate is a strong word but that is what best describes what I was feeling in those moments. I didn't hate her as a person but I hate her mindset and manners as a doctor. I knew that she wasn't the doctor that I wanted to be in the care of so I switched to another doctor. The biggest mistake was staying in that practice. There are six doctors there and only two of them were okay with delivering twins vaginally under the best of circumstances. The other four were not okay with it.

At my last appointment with them one of the doctors who was not okay with delivering vaginally for twins let me know that they were no longer being trained for that in school. She told me it was out of her comfort zone. What I didn't know was if my doctor was not on call when I went into labor that they would not go forward with our plan of natural delivery. Instead of the other three doctors telling me about their lack of training they each tried to make me feel like I would risk the death of my babies to have a vaginal birth. They constantly talked about the risk and said nothing positive in hopes to get me on board with a scheduled c section.

My 24 weeks appointment was the last straw and I knew I needed to leave their practice all together. My intended OB was a wonderful guy who assured me that it would be simple to deliver the twins vaginally, but his colleagues weren't on the same page. So after taking my glucose test I left knowing that I needed to change doctors....again. I begin my quest for a new doctor the same day but calling around all I heard were metaphorical doors closing. "They would say how far along are you?" I answered 24 weeks, with twins. The answer was always you are too advanced in your pregnancy for us to take you on as a new patient. Even with prenatal care records? I would ask. They would say "yes even with records we could not see you." I was slowly feeling defeated and continued drowning my sorrows in pints of strawberries, what had I gotten myself into? Why did I stay with this practice for so long?

A few days later I got an email from a doula, she actually found the blog and offered to be my doula as she completes her training. I hadn't decided if I really wanted a doula but I thought it was awesome that she contacted me. We continued to chat and she asked how I was doing emotionally and I told her about my issue with the doctor, she promptly gave me a referral. I contacted the doctor and explained my situation. They told me they would be thrilled to continue my care and only performed csections when medically necessary which I totally agree with. The doctor and his colleague are on the same page, both will not allow me to elect a csection or give me a csection without a medical need.

I met with the doctor yesterday and the environment was warm and less like a cattle call. I even made a friend. I had been praying constantly before my appointment that God would just provide. I am now confident that I have the medical team I need to get the twins here in the safest and not just convenient manner. My new doctor is definitely knowledgeable where twins are concerned and continues to refresh his education by reading studies and communicating with doctors in other states. I really liked that about him. God has really been guiding me through and putting me in touch with the right people so I could get where he wants me to be.

Best news from yesterday's appointment is that the babies are thriving, my uterus is currently measuring 33 weeks pregnant and I passed my test for gestational diabetes.

How far along? 26 weeks today.
Babies are the size of:  An Eggplant.
Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies. New doctor made no comments about my weight. Love him even more!
Maternity clothes?  Yes.
Stretch marks?  None.
Sleep: An hour or two between trips to the loo!  

Exercise: What's that?
Miss Anything:  A full nights sleep.   

Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves. 
Food cravings: strawberries and pizza! Don't judge me.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.
Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.
Rings On or Off: On.
Labor Signs: Pesky Braxton Hicks have started.
Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.
Looking forward to: My 28 week appointment, we'll see the babies in 3/4D!

25 Weeks: What I've Learn About Pregnancy

10 September 2014

Here are a few things that I have been surprised to learn while pregnant:

Not all symptoms happen to you. I didn't have sore breast, nausea, or vomiting . While that can be awesome for some people, when you've dealt with infertility an absence of symptoms can be slightly scary.

You can break a pregnancy test if you give it too much pee. Pee in a cup or limit the peeing to 5 seconds. Your test doesn't need all you've got to give.

Sometimes you won't feel pregnant. Especially if you lack the symptoms above. I've only just begun feeling pregnant all the time but I still have a few days where I get out of bed and feel normal - with a bump.

Your breast are pregnant too. They will experience various changes I rather not mention. Just know that blue veins are just the beginning.

You could be out of breath long before you ever show. Shortness of breath and heart palpitations were one of my first signs of pregnancy. It was kind of scary I thought my body was breaking down because it was trying so hard to get pregnant.

I've always thought cravings were an excuse to indulge in bad foods. I've quickly learned that everything including your taste buds change when pregnant, some food is better than none at all. 

That "pregnant glow" is accomplished by a combination of day and night time sweating.

The unwanted advice starts rolling in the minute you pee on the stick. Sift through it or tune it out - do your research but don't let anyone make decisions for you.

Your spouse may or may not experience his own symptoms. You may find it cute or annoying but if he needs more attention show him some grace.

Seeing a nutritionist during pregnancy is helpful especially if you have morning sickness or experience food aversions. It can also be helpful if you are trying to continue a vegan diet or carrying multiples.

People are fascinated by pregnant women. If you get asked dumb questions just try to laugh it off most people are genuinely interested, even men.

Leg cramps are terrifying. Point your toes up towards your knee instead of down when stretching in bed. Also calcium and magnesium comes in handy to help avoid them.

You may have graduated in the top 5% of your class but pregnancy brain can humble you - I promise!

Pregnancy after infertility is just a milestone. Your worry doesn't end there you will have new concerns for your child for 18+ years. So if you're curious, no it never gets easier!

Say goodbye to wine, warm prune juice is now your night cap.

Orgasms are possible in your sleep. Yeah I know this is TMI but before you think you're some type of weirdo know it happens to good Christian folk like me! Lol! They joys of pregnancy.

You'll try your best to be attractive and super graceful. However you should know that a lot happens during pregnancy where "air" is concerned. 

Baby kicks are awesome but the minute they stop kicking you have a whole other reason to panic.

Babies start barging in on your sex life long before they are born. Little kicks may happen at inappropriate times. You can either let them stop the show or put the little munchkin to sleep, if you get my drift.

Ive still got 15 more weeks left of this pregnancy and much more to learn. I thought sharing some of this would be fun and informative for those of you who are in the early days of expecting or still waiting on your miracle. 

How far along? 25 weeks today.

Babies are the size of:  A Cauliflower both babies are weighing in like a singleton. Punchkin is 1lb 8oz and Munchkin is 1lb 12oz. 

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies.

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: An hour or two between trips to the loo!
Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything:  A full nights sleep.
Movement: Yes, constant baby judo and tidal waves. 

Food cravings: strawberries and waffles! Not together.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: Pesky Braxton Hicks have started.

Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.

Looking forward to: Meeting with a doula. Eek!

24 Weeks: Glorious

03 September 2014

Today I am 24 weeks pregnant, it's really baffling that I've got about 4 months left. Even though these little babies are no where near ready to face the world, today marks a huge milestone of viability for their little lives. I haven't thought much about this day because I don't count their viability by worldly standards. Even with all that's been going on I've had faith that God would not bring them out before time.

Last week it really hit me that I am pregnant. In the middle of the night when I was up to tinkle for the one thousandth time I was mesmerized by the peace of the early morning. It was quiet, our house was dark, and my husband was sound asleep. For a moment I felt alone, I was promptly interrupted by a barrage of little kicks - baby judo if you will. A sweet little reminder that the time for quiet nights would be short lived. Our little babies will be here soon.

Even with this belly it's hard to believe I'm pregnant. I have backaches, muscle spasms, headaches, constant hunger and tiredness - but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I've been blessed in so many aspects of things I haven't experienced during this pregnancy so I don't really complain about the ones that I have. I'm not able to walk long distances like I used to in the city and I'm finding it hard to jump into my car. I eat more than I really want to and I sleep longer than I'd like but goodness I love this experience. My body amazes me everyday with every single new development. We women are truly fearfully and wonderfully made.

How far along? 24 weeks, just completed 6 months of pregnancy.

Babies are the size of:  Ear of Corn, weighing a little over a pound each.

Total weight gain: I've requested not to know. I'm eating healthy and believing my body will gain what it needs to feed our babies.

Maternity clothes?  Yes.

Stretch marks?  None.

Sleep: An hour or two between trips to the loo!
Exercise: What's that?

Miss Anything: Not having headaches daily. Being sharp, I've become forgetful and slower at thinking. So forgive me for any grammatical errors!
Movement: Yes, constant baby judo!

Food cravings: strawberries and tacos! Not together.

Anything making you queasy or sick: The smell of chicken makes me gag even now. Apparently my babies are vegan!

Belly Button In or Out: In but definitely flattening.

Rings On or Off: On.

Labor Signs: No thank God!

Happy or Moody most of the time: That depends on if I'm hot, hungry or sleepy.

Looking forward to: Our baby shower, a last celebration before become parents.

23 Weeks: Surrender!

27 August 2014

Since our 21 week drama it's been pretty quiet on the twin front. I can only thank God for that. Even in this requested quietness I am battling my mind for peace. My mind constantly ping pongs with yes my babies are alive and then no they aren't. Almost daily I am rebuking fear, doubt and unbelief. I know that the enemy has set out to steal the joy and the happiness these two littles have brought into my life. He's done just about anything he could think of to try and turn me against God, myself, and others - it didn't work!

God has seemed unusually quiet since we came back to Florida. It wasn't Him, it's just a new season and I am learning a whole new level of trust. Not only am I learning to trust God and surrender my life but I'm now having to learn to trust Him with the lives of my babies. This journey to surrender is deeper than I could have imagined. Next year I'll choose an easier word. Ha!

Since our 16 week scan we've had a rough go at it and a lot of confusion with our perinatologist. One night after much frustration and tears God woke me and told me to tell the doctors what I wanted from them. His voice reasoned that their response to my demands would give me my answer on whether to stay or go. I called them and explained that I wanted the records for the babies switched to accurately reflect who is affected by this condition. I also told them I didn't want any more blood testing, no amino, and no more discussions about termination or selective reduction. I was met with opposition so my answer was clear. It was time for me to move on to a new doctor,  so I did. My new doctor's spirit has reassured me that my prayers for my medical professionals has been heard. God is opening all kinds of doors and placing believers in my path. 

This pregnancy is a faith walk for me. The miracles are similar to that of my IVF journey but somehow I feel a little unsteady in my faith shoes this time around. I know I'm in the midst of a spiritual war because I'm so close to my dreams. The enemy has worked hard to confuse me about the health of my children, managed to make me doubt my abilities to carry this pregnancy, and of all things a battle with doctors for the lives of my sweet babies. God always had the final say and my doctors words were a confirmation as if they had come from the mouth of God himself. She told me "Nothing has changed with what we see on the ultrasounds, but people walk around daily with or without that part of their brains. You and I could be missing ours and we'd never know it! Ultrasound scans are more thorough now and people freak out about the slightest anomaly. The kids look fantastic."

My babies are very healthy we even had a consult with a cardiologist to make sure their hearts were perfect. Everything checked out fine. Our next step is a MRI just to confirm what is not seen on ultrasounds but my doctor says this is just precaution and no reason to worry. So we will do that in about 1-2 weeks.

This journey is not what I expected. Even in spite of a potential diagnosis I am once again enjoying my pregnancy. I pray for these babes every single day, and I am still believing in healing for them. I am grateful for a doctor who says people don't know everything. Again she confirms the fact that God didn't make us all knowing or all seeing.

I still covet your prayers for my pregnancy to be full term and for my babe to be completely healed. There is nothing I can do beyond this point except love and fight for them while surrendering to God.

21 weeks: Painless Contractions

18 August 2014

"Wow my back hurts!" I thought this with every step I took while I was out running errands with my mom on Saturday. I finally let her know I was hot and tired so we ended our day out with a frappucino and a full blast air conditioned ride home. Honestly my back hurts daily but with the stretching of my uterus and a new posture I didn't think much of it.

After getting home I showered and whined to my hubs about needing a backrub. We cuddled, while he rubbed my back. I went to sleep and then woke up to eat, by then my backache was gone. I had tons of energy but decided to lay back down because I had spent a lot of time on my feet. As I laid down I noticed some discomfort around my waist. It almost felt like I had eaten a full meal and my belt was on too tight. I tried to sleep but the weird sensation kept coming. This lasted for several hours before it began to worry me. The discomfort was so obvious - I paced back and forth while googling to figure out what on earth was going on. That's when it hit me. "Maybe I'm having contracfions?!" As I googled no descriptions came close to what I was feeling. I felt like I was being a hypochondriac so I laid down again. I still couldn't sleep, then I noticed my uterus got hard as rock and that never happens without a trigger. So I finally woke my hubby and said I wanted to go to the hospital. I told him what I was feeling and he of course googled for his own peace of mind while I got dressed. I felt bad for waking him because I still wasn't sure exactly what was going on.

When we got to the ER, I told the staff I was having contracfions. They took my info and told me to have seat. I was so annoyed thinking how dare they make me wait when I'm pregnant. They were actually sending for someone to pick me up. When my chariot arrived I was taken to Labor and Delivery. I was put in a private room and hooked up to monitors. The babies and their hearts were monitored as well as my uterus for contractions. They did see that I was having consistent contractions, thankfully not strong enough to dilate my cervix. 

After being tested for a UTI I had an ultrasound to check the babies. A few minutes later a male doctor came in because my OB doesn't have privileges at my local hospital. He asked me to map out my day for him from the time I woke up to the time I came to ER. He listened very carefully and the verdict was in that I hadn't consumed enough water for all that I had been up to on a hot and humid Florida day. He lectured me and made sure my hubby was on his team. Of course two men would agree that a woman needs rest when pregnant to stop her from shopping! I was advised that I couldn't spend tons of time in the blazing sun and that I need to keep walking down to a minimum. I also needed to drink a gallon or more of water per day.

So there you have it folks. I'm not on official bed rest but I have limited my time outdoors. I am taking it easy as the half day in the hospital was absolutely no fun. Thank you for prayers and texts. I am now enjoying a few quiet days during this pregnancy. Thank you God.

Baby Stats:

Baby A also known as Punchkin is 12oz and growing on track.

Baby B known as Munchkin is 13oz and measuring a week ahead.

Both babies kick up a storm and get stronger everyday.

We are enjoying our pregnancy and are not even thinking about what the doctors had to say a few weeks ago.

On another note, we did switch perinatologist and oh my - this one is a keeper. She's a believer and truly showed compassion, love, and grace to me. Our first appointment, the day after my ER stint ended with her giving me a hug and a kiss. I could truly feel God's peace and presence in that visit.

Please continue to pray for us, we feel so blessed and cared for.
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