Only One Me

03 December 2013


As I look at the dictionary's definition of marriage it shows a union of two distinctly different beings. In the first definition it says a union between a man and a woman. In the second it says a combination or mixture of two or more elements. My husband and I are very different. We have different personalities, different love languages, different wants and different needs. 

However when it comes to our faith in God, hopes for our marriage, and dreams for our life we are united. Each month I have worked on different goals to encourage growth and intimacy in our marriage. I never reveal to my husband what I am working on or shooting for because I didn't want him to coddle me towards that goal. I wanted to be sure that my growth was authentic and not because of ideal circumstances. I did however tell him that I wanted to pray with him more because that involved effort on both of our parts. 

When I am actively working on our marriage I see great changes in myself. I see my role as a wife differently - I see it more as a privilege and honor rather than a duty, because I can be rather selfish at times serving my husband sometimes seems like a chore. However when I remember that I am honored to have him, serving him becomes a delight. 

There have been times where I think that our marriage would be easier for me if we were more alike. Some days I wished he wasn't as forgiving, loving, pensive or relaxed. That's the fleshly part of me, but spiritually I know that the elements that he brings to our marriage are essential to bringing me closer to Christ and making our marriage as success. Honestly our marriage can only stand one me.


He balances me, challenges me, and pushes me towards the character that God has in mind for me. My marriage goal for the month of December is to embrace our differences. To understand that our marriage is a perfect mix of two elements becoming one. We are like the hydrogen and oxygen very different yet really useful and extremely powerful when put together.

I want to see our differences as a gift this month. I am challenging myself to let go of the doing it my way or the highway mentality. I am also wanting to take a moment to thank God for those differences each time they come to my attention. I figure if I learn to appreciate and even love our differences the enemy can't use them to frustrate me. 

Your Turn: What are you marriage goals for this month? How are you and your spouse different? Do you see those differences as a gift?!

12 comments:

  1. This month my husband and I are going to work together to make time for one another despite our hectic schedule. I want to plan date nights when we can and be thankful for the little things. Rob and I are so different. Where I am a planner, Rob is a doer. We compliment each other and that's what I love about us.

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  2. Beautiful post. Well this month our goal is to share with both families.

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  3. This is beautiful. My husband and I are very different as well. I too need to change my attitude and embrace the differences instead of wishing he would change and be more like me. Thanks for the reminder!

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  4. It sounds like you two are perfect for each other. Marriage is so hard. But if you always put the needs of the other person first than it can change everything. Love that you put so much positive energy into making your marriage the best it can be.

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  5. I love this!!! :) Such a great goal, and so unique! This is something that I really need to start working on as well.

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  6. I recently wrote a post about how different Andrew and I are from each other-- http://mypassionjourney.com/wise-words-dr-seuss-on-love/
    We really are very different, but we really balance each other out. I would go crazy if I was married to somebody exactly like me. I like your Hydrogen and Oxygen analogy- very powerful and very true. Thank you for sharing that!

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  7. I love this! What an important goal. I love instead of ignoring them or getting annoyed with his differences, you embrace them! So sweet xoxo

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  8. Wonderful goal! I think often times it's easier to wish our spouses would change instead of embracing the difference and praying for God to change my own heart instead...

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  9. Yes!! My husband and I are very different in certain ways, but it's true that those differences create balance, because we have different strengths, we're able to help each other in our weak spots!

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  10. What an absolutely fabulous marriage goal!!!

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  11. Awesome goal! I absolutely love reading your posts on marriage. They really do challenge me every time I read them to work just a little bit harder on having a happier marriage. Thanks for posting!

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  12. This is great and I love your little our marriage only needs one me I get that too!!! There is a reason its men and women in marriage when i think of the way two of me would be my goodness!!! So lovely to notice and appreciate each other, nothing better than putting each other first. The best things only come!

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