A Scary Proposition

26 December 2013

Hi lovely ladies, I’m pretty excited about guest spotting here with the wonderful Charity – one pretty fabulous filled lady and one I am so honored to have met in this little world, even if on the other side of it!! 

I’m Finley from my little blog In It for Love where you get to hear the inner ramblings of yours truly as I venture on my faith filled journey of life. Sometimes a little awkward, splashed with a couple of nerves but plenty of honesty as I venture on my new walk with Christ and the happenings in between.  Life as a newlywed, our longing for children,  my gorgeous family, my over thinking brain and well, food.  Well actually more ribs than “food” but food nonetheless (kind of wanting ribs now – sorry Charity!).

One thing I've found from blogging is the amazing support and friendship that is out there and that I've found.  I never imagined that I’d meet so many down to earth women, so intent on being amongst and hearing from other women!  It’s truly an empowering thing to be surrounded by so many strong minded, honest women – and one of the things I love most about this little online land!  So please feel free to pop on over to my little land, I’d love to hear from you and visit yours xx

[via]
The Prayer Partnership

There is something completely honest and vulnerable about praying with your husband.

I've just been experiencing it for the first times this past week and I'm already feeling stronger for it.

I've always wanted to pray with my husband, not just our saying Grace at dinner time or talking to each other about what we've read or heard, but deliberately praying together.

I know I need to work on my own prayer life and being consistent and I feel this is a good way to start building my prayer confidence and to really connect spiritually with my husband.

The only thing is, I have a tendency to go quite awkward and weird when I feel uncomfortable and at actual quite important moments too unfortunately.

Here is an embarrassing example;

The night hubby proposed to me was at home and he'd apparently been trying to ask me all evening, however I was supposedly in a talkative mood so he couldn't cut in edgeways (so the story goes) .I think I must have just been full of very important information that just had to be shared.

So we get to bed and he pops the question there in bed on the 2nd anniversary of when we met, Halloween, 31st October 2009 - however two years later.    "I have a scary proposition for you, will you marry me?".

Enter awkward moment - Finley goes silent,  Finley starts to small talk, then giggles, then touches his lips and says oh you have nice lips....hubby starts to worry I guess the poor thing.  Then says do you want me to ask you again?  Asks me again, I say yes. 

This is what I meant by awkward in crucial moments!  What kind of weird stuff was I doing!!! I know it was the weirdest thing and I knew what I should say, I know what I wanted to say and I couldn't get it out.  For some ridiculous reason I felt uncomfortable.  And there is no logical reason why I should have.....just my mind getting in the way!

And I did this with hubby the first night I said to him I wanted to start praying together every night.

So as we were ready to lie down to sleep in bed, I asked him if we could face each other, hold hands, and silently pray together.

So we faced each other, held hands and were about to close our eyes and what did I do? I start to just randomly touch his face and say "do we start now? Are you ready? Oh you have a little mark right there. You have pretty eyes" and made some weird random noise and fidgeted around.

No Finley no. Just stop my goodness! The things we do when we are nervous! 

Right. Back to it. Got that out of my system and then I did a strange awkward nervous last look smirk to hubby and I closed my eyes and said my prayer, squeezing my husbands hand slightly to indicate I was done and said Amen.

And all the strange nervous fears I had were gone.  It's that first step that sometimes just trips you up.  

Amazing how you can get so nervous about something you know you want to do, but sometimes finding the words to express it is easier said than done...well for me anyway :)

We are on track though now.  Just last night I came home from my missions meeting with a wanting in my heart to have my husband lead us in prayer to pray for my mum who is struggling with a few things and I paused for a second when I walked up the stairs to see him but took a breath and just asked him.  Why would I get nervous about something I know my Godly husband would LOVE me to ask him to do!!!  

And he did. We sat on the bed, held hands and he began to pray for my mum, out loud, our first time. Amen. Then the unexpected.  He said your turn.  Nervous flutter moment.  Closed my eyes and went for it.  Out loud.  Nervous as anything to start but the feeling of WHO I was praying to...peace at last!!!

So we will continue, perhaps not out loud to each other every time, we will move gently into that, but if I feel it pressing on my heart, no matter if prayer or my thoughts, I have to say it and do it.  No second guessing myself or thoughts of nervousness or embarrassment....I'm all in.

4 comments:

  1. All in!! Love it!!! I love me some Finley, thanks for sharing her guest post!

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  2. I loved this post! I too say and do silly things when I am nervous! I tried to find your blog (I clicked on the link but it took me now where each time). :/

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    Replies
    1. thanks Elisha - so silly to do things like this when nervous it makes you giggle when you look back at it. You can find my little blog at http://www.initforlove.net/blog - it is somewhere :)

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  3. I love this! I do the same thing :)

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