Ruined Plans

08 October 2013

So yesterday we celebrated the first day of my hubby's birthday week. I thank you all for your well wishes I have to say that even though it went nothing like I planned we had a blast. Let me just say in my journey to serve, be patient, listen better, and be kinder I realized that all those things are hard for me because I'm a perfectionist. Yep! I said it! I realized that I am not short with people because I don't like them or because I feel that they are inadequate, I get annoyed because I want perfection. Is it not ironic that I an imperfect being seeks perfection in things around me?!

Which leads me to how I had to catch myself from falling into that perfection trap yesterday. For as long as I have known my husband he's never had plans for his birthday - his family doesn't celebrate birthdays the way mine does. So like usual for the 10 years in a row I made the plans to take him all around town. I pretty much had an itinerary all mapped out and it even included and afternoon snooze.

As I stated yesterday I planned to wake him up early for a sunrise breakfast. He happily woke up and we headed out to start our morning. Unfortunately the weather had other plans, their was a tornado warning for the entire tri-state area and the sun did not rise at all. So that part of the plan was a complete bust. We did come home to have our snooze and all was set right in the world. Seriously there isn't anything a prayer and a good nap can't fix.

When we got up to head out again the weather was still pretty nasty, then my hubby changes his mind about where we were going for dinner and decided 10 minutes before that he wanted to eat some place else. I started to get annoyed but I remember that my goal for this month was to encourage him - I said sure lets call them and see if we could get a reservation while canceling the other reservation online. Even though I was annoyed I prayed those feelings away. It was as if God whisper to me just have fun, and enjoy being spontaneous - you don't always have to have a plan, let me take care of the details.

With my whole life I always have to plan - College, Marriage, Babies, Family etc. I've got to learn to let go when things don't turn out the way that I want. Especially over something as trivial as dinner. My hubby decided that instead of eating Jamaican food he wanted to eat Indian. Want to hear the sweetest part? Well as most of you know I have been clean eating so no sugars or starches and I told him that I would break that to celebrate with him. So he changed his mind from the Jamaican Restaurant to Indian so that I could have my favorite vegan meal. Man! Why is he so stinking thoughtful?! I felt like such a brat even though I never complained to him about changing our plans. After all it's his birthday not mine he has the right to change his mind how ever inconvenient it might be.

This week my marriage goal is really helping me to consider my thoughts before speaking, and to see that sometimes the things we don't plan make life even sweeter. I have tried my best to be encouraging to my husband - to speak life and to uplift him. Besides telling him how wonderful he is I stuck little notes in his wallet and lunch last week. I also prayed over him at a church rally last week and breakfast this morning, my heart swelled with love and joy because I get to be his wife and I have watched him mature into a man of God. It hasn't been easy but I am continuing forward to encourage, love, and serve him all October long.

The photos above show his celebration yesterday save for breakfast. At the Indian Restaurant we had vegan samosas, chana masala, chicken tikka masala, with rice. We both also had vegan mango lassis. The last photo is demonstrating how you properly eat a cupcake.

Your Turn: Are any of you perfectionist? How do you deal with having your plans changed at the spur of the moment? Did you know there was a proper way to eat a cupcake?


  1. Happy Birthday to your husband! You guys are adorable, and I love reading about all of your goals to encourage and motivate him in your relationship. Very inspiring. :)

    I am very much a planner! I used to get extremely bent out of shape when something didn't go my way, but lately I am learning to just enjoy the ride. I'm trying to say, "Okay God, lead me today. Don't let my annoying, controlling ways get in the way!"

    Also, I did not know there's a right way to eat a cupcake. I just dive in, ha ha. Hope you're having a great week!

  2. Happy Birthday to the Hubs! He IS very thoughtful! I don't know if I'm really a perfectionist, I do have to have a plan or I feel lost and spiral out of control pretty fast, is that the definition of a perfectionist? ;) My Hubs likes to fly by the seat of his pants and we've had to deal with butting heads on this issue. Especially when we went to Europe! THAT was a challenge!

  3. Happy birthday to your hubby! I loved all those pictures highlighting his special day. He is surely a lucky man to spend the entire day with you, lovely lady! :) I love reading all about your goals and how you achieve them!

  4. Happy Birthday Mr. FixIt! I hope to see lots of pics and posts of what you all do. I have to say that we are a lot alike. I love to celebrate birthdays because that's how I was raised, but my hubby didn't really celebrate so NOW...we go all out. HA! I am also a planner. From the baby to how my life is at work, I love to plan because I feel some type of control, but I know it really lies in God's hands. We are so twines!!

  5. I always appreciate your honesty - looks like it was still a great evening! The food looks delish!!! I'm with you girl - I like it my way or I get cranky. A great reminder I need to work on that too!

  6. happy birthday to your hubs! now i want a cupcake. :)

  7. GIRL. Me and you? On the same wavelength. The devil really knows he can get a hold of me most when I have things all mapped out. Nothing ever goes to plan! I'm learning to exercise my flexibility. It's haaaard.

  8. Happy birthday to your husband! You are so much like me when it comes to husband birthday things. My husband never really celebrated his birthday until I came into the picture and totally ruined his life :P. His birthday is a week from now and I can't even think of all of the fun things I want to do and get him. I'm always obnoxiously over the top.

    It's super sweet that your husband was thoughtful even on his special day. Indian is definitely a good choice! Good luck on staying patient! :)

  9. Happy Birthday to your husband! You and I sound so similar. I have this whole day planned out for our next date 'night'. After reading this post I'll try and go with the flow a bit more.

  10. I am definitely a perfectionist... and I do not cope very well when things change. It is something that I need to work on because it is hard for me to be flexible and enjoy things once they go differently than planned.

  11. Even though the first day of the birthday week celebration didn't go as planned, it was a magnificent day of events. As for being a perfectionist - yes, I am. This is how I got my nickname in Kindergarten. My first name - Elisabeth, was so long and I took such time to make it perfect that I ended up getting (or choosing my own) nickname to shorten the morning writing time. In college, an older friend told me to learn to bend or just break, my choice. In my mind, if I do A+B it's supposed to equal C and when it doesn't, it's hard for me to accept. Truth be told, I guess I've always been that way. It's definitely a learning process. *I'll email you.* :-)

  12. Let me just start off by saying how excited I was to find this blog, and follow on Bloglovin only to find that I was following just you, and not your blog too, so I was missing the blog posts!! I was thinking, goodness, when is she going to post more; I can't wait to read her new stuff! :) Needless to say, problem solved. Your blog just gained a new follower!

    On perfectionism: I have a hard time letting others handling the details. One of my biggest faults is complaining that my husband never plans any date ideas, but when he does, I tweak or change them into something "better." I'd be so annoyed if someone did that to me; I really need to work on letting. that. go.

    The birthday dinner looks fantastic! I'm glad it turned out wonderful and sweet regardless of all you planned.

  13. This all sounded so lovely! I too have trouble with changes in plans and I truly believe that God does things to take us out of our comfort zone to help us break that bad habit. I try to remember that He knows better than me and just trust, but boy oh boy is it hard sometimes! I am so proud of you for being flexible when it was difficult for you and for being able to see the changes in a positive light!

    I always find so much inspiration in your posts! xo

  14. I am so similar! I've realized I get upset too because I seek perfection in all areas in my life. It's exhausting sometimes! But I'm glad you're learning to let go a bit and stay patient :) It looks like his birthday turned out to be an awesome success! And oh yes, that is THE best way to eat cupcakes ;) Mmm!

  15. That Indian food looks amazing! At times I also struggle with wanting everything to be perfect--but perfection doesn't lend itself to the best stories in life, I've found! Real life is far more interesting than perfection, and that's a good thing!


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