No Apologies!

01 October 2013


For August and September I linked up with Kalyn and Amberly to share my marriages goals for the month. I cannot believe it's been two months and that today marks a third month of marriage goals. 

In August it was my goal to be kinder, patient, and a better listener to my husband. In September I set out to serve him with love, peace and any other way I saw fit. I learned so much as I challenged myself both months. September by far was one of the hardest months for me in a long time. I was adjusting to being so busy and not having time for myself so it was really hard to stay committed to putting my husband first and serving his needs. I know that sounds really selfish but seriously I was so busy I didn't have time to even do my own laundry. Even still I pushed forward and the challenge definitely rewarded me greatly as I felt closer to God in sacrificing my time and my own desires for someone else. My friend Susannah reminded me that serving your husband and caring for yourself is a fine line to walk, and she is definitely right. Never did I want to forget what I needed to the point that I would be no good mentally to serve my husband. But in sacrificing to serve him I can honestly say that none of my needs were unmet. Some of them were delayed but definitely not denied. 

As I look back on September I feel sheer joy for the times I was able to serve him. I held my tongue when I wanted to nag, then I sacrifice a weekend of lingering around the house to hangout at his work picnic I know that finding joy in those moments was purely God. My husband was gracious, and grateful for all that I was doing for him and it motivated me to keep going. Before going to bed one night he mentioned that I seemed different. I didn't ask him to elaborate because I was far too tired but as I turned over to go to sleep I was overjoyed at how our marriage continues to grow.

October is a special month around here because Mr.FixIt turns a year older. My goal for this month is to be his biggest cheerleader. I am setting out to love him with my words, to encourage him, to pray for him as often as I think about him, and to make sure my words match my actions when I speak to him. I have decided on being intentional with my words after reading the Beth Moore book on Secrets. Our words have so much power, to either lift someone up, or to bring someone down. So I want to be intentional with my words all month long. I am nervous about how this will go because my mouth is an area that I cover daily with prayer. I pray that I can have the self control to choose my words carefully so I have little if any reason to apologize to my husband this month.

Your Turn: In what ways are you working on your marriage this month? Do you struggle with speaking the right words to your spouse or to others?

 Marriage & Relationship Goals

12 comments:

  1. October is going to be a month of working on communication for us. Its a two way street and sometimes we like to assume that the other knows or understands how we or they are feeling.. in reality we need to speak those words.

    Love love love that picture! You guys are way too cute!

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  2. I'm currently in a season of more actively serving my husband instead of sometimes taking the lazier or easier road out as I am too often tempted to do! I do understand what you said, about how hard it can be--but I think that the blessings and rewards make it worth it!

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  3. Hi Charity, this is such a wonderful idea! I'm currently in the process of transitioning back into being the wife of a grad student. He had a brief year off from school, but now that he's back into the academic world, I'm finding it harder and harder to support him in the midst of my loneliness. Your goals are encouraging to read; thanks so much for sharing! I'm looking forward to catching up on all your past posts reflecting your goals!

    P.S. found your wonderful blog via Kiki at In Its Time. :)

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  4. I think my plan this month will be like yours - My husband is currently on layoff so he needs a support system during this hard and unknown time in our lives. This post about what you went through in August and September is a reminder that sometimes my "hard times" at work is not as big as it seems and as compared to what my husband is currently going through, so I should shut my mouth!

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  5. Being his cheerleader is a great thing to do! I love having you link up with us! Thanks for being so awesome and inspirint!

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  6. How sweet are you - his biggest cheerleader - I love that!! A good reminder that we should constantly be lifting them up and encouraging them in who they are!!

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  7. What a great goal!! I think I should work on being my husband's biggest cheerleader too! This month we are taking a little anniversary trip--which I have planned... so I'm going to work on just celebrating our relationship and him as my husband, rather than stressing about details of plans.

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  8. I love this post & what you are doing! Thank you for being open about your marriage! This challenge is really awesome. I definitely like the goal of being his biggest cheerleader. I've read that same phrase in some marraige books of mine and it's something I need to adopt better.

    I'm really encouraged to hear that even though you put your husband first, your needs were all still met. Sometimes I am also selfish with my time or myself to put my needs first, but really, they will just be delayed like you said. Wonderful perspective!

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  9. I love this link up. Although E and I aren't married yet, it's so inspiring to see testimonies of hard work and commitment from friends like yourself. Thanks for being a great encouragement :) And for being so real and honest all the time!

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  10. Words are really so important: remember, "the power of life and death are in the tongue..." I really try to be intentionally life-giving to my hubs. It's so important for our men to hear good things from us.

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  11. Words are really so important: remember, "the power of life and death are in the tongue..." I really try to be intentionally life-giving to my hubs. It's so important for our men to hear good things from us.

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  12. Yes! My words have definitely been something I've had to work on (and continue to work on) when speaking, thinking, praying for my husband. Initially (when dating) I would talk to him any kind of way and actually treated him like he didn't have feelings just because he was a man (I'm embarrassed to admit). Thankfully, he hung in there with me and communicated with me and we've both learned how to communicate effectively with one another and to another!

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