Lonely Holidays

31 October 2013


So the holidays are fast approaching, and I am feeling less festive than I thought I would be. By now I would have had a whole meal plan written out with the shopping list to match. I've got nothing!! I asked my husband what he wanted to eat for Thanksgiving this year and he happily request the same meal that I prepared for him last year. Honestly I was hoping he'd say let's go out instead, because that just how excited I am....not. I know part of feeling less than festive it is the loneliest I feel around the Holiday season. I love to cook but for the holidays I don't like cooking alone. 


I long for my family.
I long for my friends.
I long for children of my own to make memories with.

Yet and still neither of those them will be gathered around my dining room table this year. My husband is light in my life and I love being able to serve him and I relish in spending time with him. So I am not discounting his presence, he means the world to me. But since I was a little girl holidays have always been about family and lots of them. Part of me is very much excited to begin shopping for our holiday meal - but another part of me is lonely. I guess loneliness comes with the territory when you move away from people you love.

One whole year later, 1300 miles apart and I am still adjusting and trying to figure out how to feel whole without my family. I always wanted to grow up and move far way, I wanted to leave my family behind. I thought I needed to break free from them to find myself. When all the while they are me - I wish I could slap my younger self in the head what was she thinking?! 

I really miss my family. There are some lonely holidays ahead!! By the way Happy Pumpkin Day!


Your Turn: Are you close to your family? Where will you spend the holidays? Who will you spend that time with?


14 comments:

  1. Aw Charity, I can't even imagine being that far away from my family. I'm only a couple hours away from mine and I still miss seeing them daily during the holidays. Stay positive, and I will keep you in my prayers during this season! :)

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  2. I always end up working the holidays because we don't have childeren. I think its my way of protecting myself. I end up saying "Oh its not really Thanksgiving for me because I am working". This year I am working Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Robs sister is flying in from AZ so the weekend after Christmas I am having my Mom, Dad and Brother and Robs Mom, Dad and Sister for Christmas the following weekend. It will be our first Christmas with all of our family all together, ever.

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  3. Hugs for you sweet girl!!! I'm believing that the Lord will be doing big things this holiday season! I hope it's a special time with you and Oneil and just praying right now that He fills His spirit in your house - in each and every room and especially in that kitchen, since I know you love cooking/baking!!! Hope it's a month for more intimate time with him. Xoxo. I'll be at my parents house this thanksgiving. Thinking of you lots!

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  4. I'm not too far away from family. My mom and brother live in MS and my hubby's family lives here in GA about an hour away. I still feel lonely because his family is not my family per say. For the holidays, we usually switch where we go. So this year, we'll be in MS for Christmas, and here in GA for Thanksgiving. I will not see my family for Thanksgiving, but I will see the for Christmas. I usually cannot wait to spend time with my mom and brother. And yes...I cannot wait to have some little people of my own to make memories as well. I also grew up celebrating holidays with family so for us to be so spread out and cannot see each other all the time because of the lack of money, makes me sad. I understand. Completely!! It will be alright tho...your little family will come in no time!!

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  5. Being surrounded by family is the biggest adjustment for me during the holidays but we've been enjoying the past few years with just the two of us. We occasionally visit home during the holidays but for the most part, it's just the two of us hanging out and enjoying each other's company. I know how you feel as I felt that way in the first year but perhaps you can get together with some groups (church groups perhaps?) or connect with some people locally.

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  6. Oh sweet girl! I'm so sorry you're having to be alone for the holiday. I HATE not being surrounded by loved ones... And that might be how Christmas is for Nate and me this year. :-( Are their friends or people from Church you could get together with?

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  7. I feel you. Both of my parents are passed away, and neither of my sisters ever comes out to visit me. If I want to see anyone I have to fly there (St. Louis) which is not exactly an inspiring city imho. It's kind of sad how family can fall apart once certain people pass away...like the glue that held it together is just gone. Even though your situation is different than mine, I can totally relate to wanting to create a family of your own with your husband. Cooking for two gets so old!

    Maybe you could do something different this year and set up time to Skype with your family and then go out for a fancy dinner or something fun!? ((HUGS)) I know how it feels.

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  8. 6 years ago we moved not too far away from our family, but it felt like a world away. We had "Friends-givings" and invited all our friends who we dubbed our "adopted" family. Then we moved back to our home town this year. And my family was all back together. Then my sis and bro in law moved halfway across the country. Our little "perfect" plan was not happening! But we've learned to embrace the people around us and dive deeper into those relationships. Easier said than done, but well worth it!

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  9. :( being away from loved ones is so hard. when i moved away for college i really developed an appreciation for my family that i kind of took for granted before. it gets easier, but it's just not quite the same as when we were younger, is it? you and your husband will make wonderful memories together that you will look back on one day with love & fondness. praying that God brings you comfort and peace this holiday season.

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  10. Oh Charity - this post really tugged at my heart strings. I am praying that God brings you comfort during this time when you are missing your family so much. Also, please know that even though I don't personally know the pain of infertility, that my heart is heavy for you and I am praying for you and your husband in that regard as well. Hang in there sweet friend! ♥

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  11. I know this feeling all too well...Reece's family has a tradition where they go to one of the casino buffets here in Reno. While that is awesome because it's a tradition, its nothing like home where everyone is in the kitchen cooking. I'm sorry you're so far away my friend:(

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  12. Aww Charity. I'm so sorry to hear you feeling like this. I have no words of wisdom to make you feel better... except that you could always come to Australia for the week! No thanksgiving here, so you wouldn't need to worry about a thing! ;) But seriously, you will be in my thoughts as I feel the same way about holidays. Christmas for our family is always a massive family BBQ at my parent's place. It must be so hard being so far away from them during these times.

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  13. Around here, holidays are spent with family, but seeing that my extended family lives at least a few hours away, we end up having small family dinners and alternate going to eat with the rest of the family every other year. This year they come to us. Christmas we'll go to them and just try to make as many rounds as we can in the short time. Maybe you can do like my international friends and schedule dinner around the same time and Skype throughout your dinner. Then, talk and chat as usual. They won't physically be there, but you can still see them and hear their voices. Be encouraged, sister friend!

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  14. I am definitely close with my family, and can't imagine being so far away! :( I'll be with the in-laws this year, and it will be amazing yes...but I will still miss my own family too.

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