So the holidays are fast approaching, and I am feeling less festive than I thought I would be. By now I would have had a whole meal plan written out with the shopping list to match. I've got nothing!! I asked my husband what he wanted to eat for Thanksgiving this year and he happily request the same meal that I prepared for him last year. Honestly I was hoping he'd say let's go out instead, because that just how excited I am....not. I know part of feeling less than festive it is the loneliest I feel around the Holiday season. I love to cook but for the holidays I don't like cooking alone.
I long for my family.
I long for my friends.
I long for children of my own to make memories with.
Yet and still neither of those them will be gathered around my dining room table this year. My husband is light in my life and I love being able to serve him and I relish in spending time with him. So I am not discounting his presence, he means the world to me. But since I was a little girl holidays have always been about family and lots of them. Part of me is very much excited to begin shopping for our holiday meal - but another part of me is lonely. I guess loneliness comes with the territory when you move away from people you love.
One whole year later, 1300 miles apart and I am still adjusting and trying to figure out how to feel whole without my family. I always wanted to grow up and move far way, I wanted to leave my family behind. I thought I needed to break free from them to find myself. When all the while they are me - I wish I could slap my younger self in the head what was she thinking?!
I really miss my family. There are some lonely holidays ahead!! By the way Happy Pumpkin Day!
Your Turn: Are you close to your family? Where will you spend the holidays? Who will you spend that time with?