Passing Test

27 August 2013

I am linking up with with Kalyn and Amberly today to recap my marriage goals for the month of August.

Let me just preface this post by saying NEVER ASK GOD FOR HELP WITH SOMETHING IF YOU DON'T REALLY WANT IT, seriously! 

Don't ask God to for help with being more patient, kinder, or help at being a better listener if you do not fully intend to see it through. Honestly even I didn't expect as much help as he has been giving me. When I say help I mean God has allowed me to be in situation in the past three weeks where I have had the ability to practice being better at my goals. I have been in situations where I needed to be more patient, kinder, and a better listener all within this week alone. Later on I figured out that they were test some I failed some I didn't.

Para-sailing in the Cayman Islands.

If you read my post yesterday you know that the weekend was not all that pleasant for me. I experienced issues with this site, the hot water in my apartment, and a host of other things. You are probably wondering what this has to do with marriage? Well since I am a very impatient person things that bug me often trickle over into my marriage. I would often nag and complain to my husband about how this or that is not going the right way or sometimes I could be standoffish to him when I am under pressure. Over this weekend I realized that all the things that went wrong were testing my patience to see how I had grown and I feel like I passed. I was still absolutely annoyed by the abundance of problems but I did not allow that to show when my husband came home. He had a long day at his soccer game and I am sure the last thing he wanted to do was hear me complain about issues that had gotten resolved before he came home.

I have also still been working on my listening skills and actively listening to my husband has really helped. Whenever I cannot actively listen to him I have made a point to tell him so, that way he doesn't waste his time talking when I can't listen. For example if I am finishing up with some photo work and my husband comes to chat I will tell him to give me 5 minutes to finish up what I am doing instead of pretending to listen. It may seem as if I am being selfish and putting work before him but I assure you I am not. By telling him that I am busy at the moment I can show him that his words are important and I want to be free to hear all that he has to say. For me one of the most annoying things is having to repeat myself because someone was not listening the first time. So in an effort to treat him as I would want to be treated this has really helped. It's also helped that he hasn't felt all that inclined to talk about work this week. Haha. Overall we have shared many great laughs and I can tell our intimacy is building more and more each day. I am thankful for all that I have learned and still am learning about listening to my spouse.

Tubing the Caves and Rapids in Belize.

If you are wondering how I did at being kinder you will have to wait for that story. It's coming in a post of it's own!

I am truly amazed at how three simple goals for August foiled out to be great life lessons. All together I have to say when you make goals and you seek God's help in achieving them be ready to past some test. The goals I have set can be found in Galatians 5:22, they are fruit of the spirit. When I set the goals I honestly did not think about how serious they were, how challenging they would be or how many test would come my way. Even when I was at my roughest point this month I am glad to have seen my goals through. I may not be a master at patience, kindness, or listening but I have grown closer to God and closer to my husband - so I'll take that.

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  1. Love this post! I also let outside struggles filter into my marriage because it's so easy for me to lump everything together. So comforting that God will hear our prayers every time :)


  2. How beautiful, Charity! I love your disclaimer about asking God to help. I can relate to that one! Don't pray it unless you expect to see change happen - usually in yourself!

    I love what you've shared about your marriage. I can relate to being moody towards my husband when problems arise in life, even when they have nothing to do with him. Definitely something to work on.

  3. One thing I learn every month is how hard my goals really are. Some that I've set seem easy when the month begins and the further into it I get, I realize that it's going to take more work than normal. Way to go though!!! Thanks for linking up! I can't wait to see what next month brings for you :)

  4. Loving your blog more and more daily! I'm going to learn more how to let my husband know that right now isn't the best time. I sometimes think I can do it all, which includes listening with intention, but that's not always the case. Great post!

  5. Love this post! I love it when God answers prayers for growth, even though he doesn't always do it in ways that we love haha. And I tell my husband to let me finish what I'm doing before spending time with him pretty regularly. It goes so much better when you can give your full attention :-)

  6. What great goals! I love that you are honest with your husband and make an effort to give him your whole attention.

  7. I love this! It is a reminder for me that I too have to work hard instead of asking God for things! I love your quote at the beginning!!


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