Faithful Friday: Our Course His Steps

10 May 2013

As most of you probably know by now I got married when I was really young, 18 to be exact. If I could go back to my first thoughts about relationships I can tell you that I never believed marriage was in the cards for me. Not that I didn't think I was cute, worthy, or capable - I just didn't see marriage as being part of the course of my life. I had this whole plan mapped out, originally I believed I would go off to college, become a lawyer - later a judge, live fabulously like the ladies from Sex in The City. I saw myself dressed in fine clothing, traveling on a whim, dating, making oodles of money, hanging with my friends from high school just completely living the dream. 
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For my dreams I knew that I would need to give up a lot and so I did - I broke up with my long term boyfriend during my Sophomore year of high school all so I could focus on getting into a really good college and I also let tons of my relationship with friends fizzle because lets face it even high school friendships are hard to maintain. I prayed so hard for my dreams to come to pass and at that point in my life I was on an unstoppable course nothing short of Jesus would be able to stand in my way. 

I was driven I tell you. I went to school, managed my grades, performed in the theatre magnet program, FBLA, African American History Club, English Honor Society, took college courses and on top of that I got a job. What kind of crazy person does that? I tell you my dreams were in my reach and I was fighting for them. On the first day at my new job I met my soon to be husband and without knowing it my course of life had changed - this is the moment that I can look back on and see the divine work that God was doing in my life.

Let me tell you what did happen in my life. I got married a month after finishing high school. I went to college studied law and photography, after giving the corporate life a whirl I decided I hated it so I became a photographer instead. Immediately my path to making oodles of money changed to one that made only enough to live life with a few rather than many extras. With my current career it is more possible for me to travel on a whim. You are probably wondering about my friends from high school? Well I talk to none of them now - more my fault than theirs definitely a post for a later date. So while I had this extravagant plan mapped out for my life God ordered the steps so they could become something greater. 

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At the time I did not see it as great - I saw much of it as failure, it never occurred to me that my life could deviate so much from my own plans and still be deemed a success. Honestly when I think on it now I wonder how much of what I wanted was my own plan and how much of it was the world's or my family's plan for me. How brainwashed had I been that I thought the ladies from Sex in the City were the role models for my life, or that working in Corporate America was actually fun. While Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda's characters are great for female empowerment there are many facets of their characters that I would like to do without. How could I have ever thought the endless cycle of dating random guys would have been my dream come true or that I needed all these accolades to prove myself as worthy and productive in this would.

I didn't see myself being a photographer, housewife, or being a woman that grew to love God. I did not imagine that my course would deviate so much from the plans that I had set for myself. But God's ways are much higher than we could ever understand. Last week I talked to you all about how our prayers change us and while this is true I have also learned that though I am living in "my present" I am living in "God's past". He has gone before me and mapped my life out long before I was formed in my mother's womb. He's given me an awesome life partner who is the physical manifestation of how God provides for my needs. I absolutely love being a photographer and I love serving God via the church and my community. My steps and your steps have already been ordered by God and though we make many decisions that cause us to screw up and fall down or to excel and climb up - those steps were planned by our father God with our personalities in mind.
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Sometimes knowing that God has ordered our steps can seem scary. Especially for people that are OCD like me - I do not delight in being out of control. But allowing God to have control over my life has given me so much freedom. In surrendering I can find peace to enjoy my family, friends, and my life. Often times I proclaim to God and myself that I have given him total control but the moment that something does not happen the way I want it to - I try to jump in God's way to see if I can perhaps do it better or faster. I mean who are we kidding? Who can really do anything better or faster than God?

I have had a really rough week and for my flesh this week has not gotten any easier, but in my spirit I take comfort in knowing that God is directing my path. In his direction I can see that every second of my life has a divine arrangement, every second of my life is integral to the next, every second of my life is directed by God. 

God loves us and he has plans for us. I declare it today that the course of my life was mapped out by him with my very best in mind - my course, his steps. I am the daughter of a heavenly King, I am his, and I will be faithful to follow him no matter how off course I think we are.

How about you? Is there anything thing in your life that didn't go according to your plan but has completely satisfied you? Let me know in the comments below.

4 comments:

  1. Wow! What an amazing testimony! My story is almost the opposite, where I thought I would get married right out of college (and almost did), but God saved me from marrying the wrong man and took me on a journey of learning and waiting for 4 years until I met my now husband. It's crazy that when life seemed to be falling apart for me, God knew what He was doing.

    Thanks for the comments and follow...following back :)

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  2. Hey there! Here from the Blog Hop! Just wanted to let you know I'm following you via GFC & Bloglovin'! Hope you'll get a chance to check me out!

    Bloglovin'
    http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3718883

    Blog url
    http://www.croppedstories.blogspot.com

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  3. I love this Charity. I can relate because I thought I would be a single missionary for the rest of my days. Now, I happily take care of Reece and wouldn't have it any other way :)

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  4. I went the legal route myself, attending law school and getting a job at a law firm in Baltimore right out of school. I thought I would take the Bar in February, clerk at the firm in the mean time, and make the right connections to become a judge in Baltimore City. But then everything fell apart. I hated general civil litigation. I found out my boss was going to be disbarred. And now I've moved back in with my parents and am working part-time retail. I'll start studying for the Bar in two weeks (EEK!!!). Strangely I'm LOVING the company I work for now and have started considering working in their corporate offices someday, especially since they're talking about making me a manager after only two weeks on the sales floor. So in the middle of readjusting my sails so to speak it's so encouraging to hear how God has turned other people's expectations on their ear and lead them in a more fulfilling direction. I know whatever He's got up His sleeve is going to be far better than I could imagine but it always helps to have that knowledge reaffirmed by other people. Thank you so much for sharing this!!

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