Letters to GOD Series: Letter Two – MARRIAGE

10 March 2013



Dear God,

It was just 8 years ago in March that I knew I was going to be married. I had no personal relationship with you, so I had no idea of the plans that you had for my life. As a teenager I spent my time thinking that I would never get married, that I was going to go to college and live the wild life in New York City. I had no clue what the world was really like. Even in those moments when I was lost you were caring for me, molding me from the beginning of life to fulfill one of the many things you called me to do.

Just four months after my 18 birthday I became a wife. I was so in love with the guy that you had chosen for me that nothing else in the world mattered. I had not even considered what we would do in our future together. I was only focused on the wedding day – not the marriage. If I had been closer to you I would have received your wisdom and guidance the easy way – reading my bible and seeking the advice of other Christian women. Since I was hardheaded I spent a few years of our marriage being disciplined by trials and many tests of which I continued to fail until I found you. I am still grateful to you for the rough times, because I see that the distress shaped my character. Many people believed that I was too young to be married and at a point I believe it too, but now I can see that your time was the right time. You called for me to be married at that moment so that you could order my steps. You showed me that I needed to grow – not only as a wife, but in my life. You called me to be a wife at that time to preserve my heart and body for someone you could trust to take care of it.

I know I have not always been the best wife – I have nagged my husband to the corner of a roof. I haven’t been the most encouraging wife, as I have spent many nights tearing him down. I have also been a foolish wife, as I didn’t realize what a rare gem of a man I had been given. But because of your grace I was able to recognize that I too had fault in the rough times in our marriage. When your Holy Spirit convicted me I finally saw the error of my ways – I saw that I was doing the complete opposite of what wives are called to do. Thank you for showing me that before it was too late. I never had examples of loving wives to see. Many of my family’s strong women did not have to deal with men because they were not around. Through this I learned that women had to be strong and domineering in order to care for their families. I never had the chance to see how soft a woman could be when she was with a man that loved her, I never knew it was okay to allow that side of me to show – the side of me that longed to be doted on, cared for, and protected or the side of me that wanted to hear that I was loved. The women in my family didn’t get a full package man – they either had a man that gave action and no words or a man that gave words and no action.

At 18, you sent me a good man, and I was too blind to see your qualities in him. For many years I caused those qualities to lie dormant because of my overbearing personality. Daddy, thank you for bringing me to word submission in one of my online searches. Thank you for awakening the sleeping wife within me – the soft woman who wanted nothing more than to be a good wife to her husband. You showed me verses in Ephesians 5 about how I should love, respect and submit to my husband. I will admit learning and committing to submission was the hardest time of my life. But the rewards of my faithfulness to you and your commands have been far greater than I could ever have expected. Because of my obedience, you have honored me – sometimes I feel I still do not deserve all that you have given me. Daddy, thank you for directing my paths – as I have no idea where my feeble mind could have taken me. I accepted the proposal to marry your son on the basis of living out a fairytale – but thank you for showing that the marriage is a gift, not the wedding. Thank you for showing me that marriage has nothing to do with the dress, but everything to do with honoring you by loving my husband. Thank you for showing me that a marriage done your way is beautiful.  Thank you for sending me a man who loved me enough to ask for my hand in marriage. Thank you for sending me a husband of noble character with high morals and values. Thank you for sending me a man that would grow his relationship with you and become the husband I never dreamed I could have. Thank you for allowing him to be the earthly manifestation of all your qualities as my protector, provider, and leader. Thank you for developing his godly character as you worked on mine.

I ask your forgiveness for the times that I doubted what was clearly your plan for my life. Forgive me for thinking I knew best and for pushing away one of the greatest blessings in my life. Forgive me for tearing down your child, for taking over his role, and for spending too many days picking apart his character. By your grace I have been restored – I have become his crown, his encourager, his lover, and his friend. Your grace has allowed me to regain my rightful place next to his side where his hands could protect me, and his arms could hold me. Thank you for giving me this great task to be a wife, and thank you for the journey that has brought me thus far. I promise to honor and submit to my husband because I know that I am honoring and submitting to you. Thank you for removing my fears and reassuring me that I could trust in my leader’s direction. Thank you for giving me a man who sacrifices his wants and needs for my own – thank you for a giving me a man that takes heed to his calling and is loving me like Christ loves the church. Thank you God for this precious gift – that is my husband.

XOXO,
Charity

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